


Changing Times

by Oriana



Category: Mach GoGoGo | Speed Racer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-10
Updated: 2010-10-12
Packaged: 2017-10-12 14:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oriana/pseuds/Oriana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Speed crashes during a race and is severely injured. Will Trixie's love be enough to save him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Blue Comet

**Author's Note:**

> Speed Racer is the property of Speed Racer Enterprise, yada, yada,yada...

"She's all set!" Sparky exclaimed as he slammed shut the hood of the sleek, cobalt blue race car. "This baby is going to kick some major butt today!"

"Sure hope so," Speed said smiling as he stroked his hand along the cool, smooth metal. "I have to say, you and Pops designed one gorgeous car. She's almost perfect!"

"Thanks! I know she's not the Mach 5, but she does have a special place in my heart," Sparky said. "You know, I'm really nervous about how she's gonna perform today. It is her first real race, after all. Last night I was so worried that I hardly slept."

"Well, now you know how I feel the night before a big race," Speed commented.

Sparky nodded. "Yeah, I sure do!" He paused for a moment then continued. "Speed, you gotta finish twenty laps ahead of the other cars. I really want The Blue Comet to make me proud today."

"I'll do my very best… Daddy," an amused Speed replied with wry smile.

The mechanic chuckled and grinned. "I guess am going on like I'm her father or something, huh?"

Speed nodded. "Well, you did have a major hand in her creation, so she is kinda like your kid. Though, I'm sure making a real baby would be a lot more fun!" He nudged Sparky; both young men broke into raucous laughter.

"Speed, you're too much!"

"Well, it _would_ be…" his laughter subsided to a sigh. "Not that I'd know anything about that..."

"Uh huh." Sparky nodded. Poor Speed, from their recent conversations it seemed as though his feelings towards Trixie had gone from platonic to something much deeper. And the physical longings were making themselves known in a variety of ways. Speed had always been hyperactive and a bit hot headed. Now it seemed that those characteristics had tripled in magnitude. It was probably one of the reasons he had volunteered to test-drive the car in a real race, to relieve the tension.

Pops lumbered up to them; a dark blue crash helmet in his hand. "Here, it won't do for you to wear something that doesn't match the Blue Comet." He handed the helmet to Speed who reluctantly took it.

"I don't know Pops... I've always worn the other one. I kinda feel like it's been lucky for me."

"Nonsense! A helmet's a helmet, put it on."

"Okay, you're probably right." He exchanged the familiar white helmet for the one Pops had given him. The helmet matched perfectly with his new fire suit. He caught a glimpse of himself in the glass doors leading from the pits to the main building. "Is that really me? I don't even look like myself!"

"Well, I think you look like dynamite!" a female voice came a voice from his right.

He smiled and turned to her. "Trixie, thanks! It's just that everybody is staring at me. And the photographers… I don't ever remember them taking so many pictures of me before."

"That's because you've never looked this magnificent." Trixie smiled adoringly at her boyfriend who really did look incredible. His tight, dark blue fire suit accentuated his well-toned body; the color was nearly the same as his expressive eyes. He also hadn't had time for a haircut; the longish-style framed his handsome face and in the excitement of the day he had forgotten to shave. The total package made for one very attractive countenance. Perhaps sexy was a more accurate description. Of course, Speed's new appearance wasn't lost on his female racing fans. Although Trixie could feel herself seething at their lustful expressions; she did her best to hide it from him. He had no tolerance for her petty jealousies.

"Speed, could I talk to you for a moment?" she asked.

"Sure."

"I mean, privately."

He glanced around. "I don't think that's really possible."

Pops nodded; he knew what Trixie meant. "I've got to go check up on your mother and brother. Be back in five..." Pops took Sparky by the arm. "Why don't you take a walk with me?" Before the mechanic could protest Pops dragged him away; leaving Speed and Trixie together amongst the throng of fans and reporters.

"Okay, what's so earth shatteringly important that my father and Sparky couldn't hear?" he asked as removed his helmet and ran his hand through his coal-black locks.

"Well, um...it's just that I... I wanted to wish you luck today." She gazed at him. He shifted uncomfortably.

"Um...err...thanks..." He tried to avert his eyes from hers, but couldn't. A strange pulling sensation was tingling his groin; he tried desperately to ignore it. But damn it, she look so good. "Trix, I gotta get myself ready for the race, you know...use the... uh...bathroom an' stuff..." His face reddened.

"Okay, sure, I understand." She was about to leave when impulsively she leaned up and kissed him. "Good luck."

" _ **Uh...!**_ " He pulled back, shocked that she'd do that right here in front of the crowd of people. He could hear click of the cameras and the journalists tittering behind him. He knew that come tomorrow the shots of he and Trixie would be a bigger story than that of the race. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I... didn't expect that."

"I know. But for some reason I felt like I had to do it," she explained, her beaming smile melting his heart. "And um…one other thing…after the race…tonight…maybe we can go back to my place, you know celebrate." Her face became flushed. "I mean, I think it's… um…time that we move forward…uh…with our relationship…that is, if you want to…" Her voice by now had dropped to a whisper.

"Really?" he asked in slight disbelief. "Do you mean it?" She nodded. "Wow! I think this is one time I'd rather skip the race! Do you know how happy you just made me?" No longer caring about who was watching them, he pulled her close to him and returned the kiss with much more passion.

He grinned and turned to the reporters. "Did you get that one? I guess you've all got a really good lead for tomorrow, huh?" There was laughter from the press.

"Speed..." Trixie touched her lips and giggled. "That tickled! I think you need a shave!"

"Yeah, I know. Though, I'm thinking I might let the thing grow into a beard," he teased; knowing how much she hated facial hair. It was getting very close to race time. He wished that he didn't have to leave her. He still felt drawn to her and wanted kiss her again. Actually, he wanted more than just a kiss.

"I guess I'd better let you go. See you after the race, okay?"

"You bet!" He winked. "I'm really looking forward to it."

"Me, too…Oh, and please be careful." She held his gloved hand and squeezed it tight.

"Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to the Blue Comet," he reassured her as he put the helmet back on his head.

 _"It's not the car I'm worried about..."_ she said to herself as he vaulted into the cockpit of Pops' new miracle machine.


	2. That's the "Brakes"

"She's handling beautifully, Pops, " Speed spoke into his headset. "I can really feel the power of this new engine and the aerodynamic body cuts through the air like a knife through butter."

Pops grinned. "Wonderful! You and that car are gonna look great in the winner's circle."

Speed chuckled. "Lets not jump the gun. But yeah, I'm feeling really confident about this car.

"So am I, son," Pops agreed.

Trixie smiled as she listened to Pops conversation with Speed. "So far, so good, huh Sparky?"

Sparky nodded. "Yeah, everything's going A-okay."

"That's great. I was kind of nervous about him not driving the Mach 5 in this race."

"So was I," Sparky admitted. "Even as of last Wednesday, I thought that they should do a few more test runs before entering her in a race."

She became concerned. "Really? Did you tell Pops that?"

"Sure. He said I was just being a worry-wart."

"What did Speed say?" she asked.

"He called me a wuss," Sparky replied with a shrug.

"A wuss? Nice," Trixie said flatly. "You know, I think I need to have a talk with him."

"You should," he said, grinning slyly, "especially about making out in public."

Trixie blushed. "I guess we got a little carried away earlier."

"You sure did!" Sparky laughed. "Speed's never been the demonstrative type. He sure shocked the press with that kiss."

"He shocked me, too! But I've got to admit, it certainly made me happy," Trixie said; touching her lip where Speed had kissed her.

"Maybe that will keep the _SiRens_ at bay," the mechanic remarked.

She rolled her eyes. "Forget those stupid groupies."

"Easier said than done, Trix. Some of those girls are hot!" Sparky scanned the stands finding the section where Speed's adoring fans congregated. They screamed and raised signs whenever he passed them. The groupies, dubbed the _SiRens_ by the press and adopted by the fervent fans, were obsessive in their quest to be near their hero. It flattered Speed and infuriated Trixie to the point where she refused to acknowledge their existence when she was around him.

"Hmpf!" she exclaimed, crossing her arms. "I think you should be paying attention to Speed and not those bimbos."

"I wouldn't worry about him, everything is going as perfect as can be."

"Well, still... He's never driven that car in a race before," she said. "What if something goes wrong?"

Sparky shook his head. "Nothing'll go wrong. Speed's really confident that the Blue Comet will perform beyond our expectations."

Trixie gazed at the track; the Blue Comet had a 3.5 second lead on the second place Shooting Star. "I hope he's right. I'm just concerned that he might be too confident. You know how he gets sometimes."

"I have to say that this time I agree with him. Maybe his enthusiasm's rubbed off on me or something, but I've got such a good feeling about that car and today's race." Sparky hoped he sounded sincere; he didn't want to let on that he had little doubts nagging at him. He still felt it was too soon for Speed to race the car.

"I suppose you're right." Trixie closed her eyes and hoped that her own fears weren't showing. She had a sinking feeling that the day would end in disaster for all of them; especially Speed.

\---

Speed glanced in his rear view mirror noting that Racer X and third place driver, Rock Force, were closing in on him. "Time to get out of lazy mode and into some serious racing." He pressed the accelerator; the car roared forward. "See ya, guys!" he said; grinning as he left his closest competition behind.

"Nice maneuver, " Pops said. "I was wondering when you were going to make your move."

"Had to wait till the time was right."

"You had me a bit nervous for a while there. I thought for sure that one of them would have caught up."

Speed chuckled. "No way, Pops. I was just giving them a false sense of security. I let 'em think they could catch me. Little did they know that they hadn't seen the full power of the Blue Comet!"

"Don't get cocky, son!" Pops admonished him.

"Aw, you never let me have any fun," Speed joked.

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun after the race," Pops countered. "Trixie's right here waiting for you." He grinned and turned to Trixie. She covered her bright red face with her hands.

"Pops!" Speed exclaimed; embarrassed but also excited about what was going to happen after the race, "I'm not even going to dignify that remark with... Huh?" His voice suddenly changed from lighthearted levity to dead seriousness.

"Speed, is something wrong?" Pops' mood suddenly turned sober.

"Not sure... the brakes feel kinda spongy all of a sudden."

Sparky and Pops exchanged troubled glances. The mechanic took over the microphone. "What do you mean by spongy?"

"I don't know... they feel, soft... kinda like there's something beneath the pedal, like a sponge," Speed explained. He didn't want to cause undo alarm over something he was sure was trivial. "Don't worry, Spark, I'm sure it's nothing."

"It might be something," Sparky told him. "On the next lap bring the Comet into the pit and I'll give 'er a quick once-over."

"No way!" Speed proclaimed. "I'll lose my hold on first place."

"I don't care about that," Pops said. "You get your butt in the pit on the next lap; that's an order!"

"Order? This isn't the army, Pops!"

"It's _my_ army and I'm your general! Now, get in here!"

"Over and out," Speed said; switching off the radio. "So much for that! If I can't hear him, I don't have to obey him." He glanced in the rear view mirror, Racer X was quickly gaining ground. "Damn, I let them distract me. Well, that's gonna change." He gave the Comet more gas and pulled farther out in front. He was fast approaching the turn before his pit. He tested the brakes; they still felt squishy. "I'm not gonna pull into the pit, no matter what."

He flew past the Go Team's pit. "What the hell is he doing?" Pops roared. "I told him to get his ass in here!"

Sparky placed a hand on his shoulder. "Pops, calm down. Speed knows what he's doing."

"The hell he does!" the elder Racer bellowed. "If something happens to that car because of his asinine belligerence they'll be hell to pay!"

As he passed the pit, Speed knew he was going to be in deep with his father. "It's not gonna be pretty, but if I win all will be forgiven... I hope." He put on the gas; hoping Pops would notice the extra effort he made.

As he came to the end of the straightaway, he pressed forcefully on brake pedal. Nothing happened. "Oh God! The brakes are failing!" He quickly turned his radio on. "Pops, I think..."

"It's about time you stopped being a jerk and contacted us again!" Pops chided him.. "You've got a lot of explaining..."

Speed cut him off. "Pops, listen, the brakes are shot!"

"What?"

"I said... **I got no brakes!** " Speed screamed, panic setting in. In desperation, he pumped the now non-existent brakes. "Oh dear lord... they're gone. I'm gonna lose control!"

"Oh my God... Okay Speed, use the emergency brake..."

He pulled up the brake; the car continued to move forward at nearly two-hundred miles an hour. "No... it's not working either. "

"The key, just turn it. Kill the engine!"

"I can't! It's not gonna stop!"

"Do it! Just do it, son!" Pops yelled into his headset. By now Mom and Spritle had joined them.

Speed's mother's heart was in her mouth. "My son... Oh, lord, no..."

Spritle clung to her though he couldn't help but stare, wide-eyed, at the action on the race track.

"Pops, nothing's working..." The next turn was coming up fast and, with that, the wall. "The wall... I'm gonna hit it!" Speed cried.

In a last ditch effort to save his life, he turned the wheel which caused the Blue Comet to go into a spin. "The other drivers...gotta avoid them..." He attempted to get out of the spin, but only managed to propel himself faster towards the wall. His eyes widened as he headed for the wall at break-neck speed. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact that was surely going to mean his end. "Dear God, please forgive my sins... and make my death quick," he prayed as the Blue Comet crashed into the wall at a velocity so great that the car contracted into itself; causing the middle child of Mom and Pops Racer to be crushed inside.


	3. Desperate Flight

Under normal circumstances, the sound of the crash would have been deafening, but it was barely discernible amongst the noise of the cars roaring by and the cheers of the excited crowd. Perhaps that made it all the more surreal; as if it was a silent movie instead of reality.

As soon as the red flag went out and the fans realized what had happened all sound ceased, save for a collective gasp from the stands. How could anybody survive such a horrendous crash?

\---

Immediately after the car hit the wall, Pops felt as if he was paralyzed, too shocked by what he had just seen happen to his son to react. But mere seconds later, he was running as fast as a man of his girth was able. "Speed!" he called out as Sparky and Trixie followed him.

\---

In the Mach Five, Speed was somehow still conscious. He attempted to move. It wasn't possible because his body was pinned in tight. He couldn't move his head either. It was pressed down into his chest; against the steering wheel that crushed his ribs. He could feel blood rushing from his nose. His eyes were swollen slits; he could barely see out of them. "Oh God..." he moaned as waves of intense pain shot through him.

\---

"Somebody get my kid outta there!" Pops screamed as the paramedics and rescue workers arrived on the scene.

"Get back!" one of them ordered, "That car can blow at any moment."

As if on cue, the engine of the Comet burst into flames forcing all of them to quickly back away.

\---

Speed smelled the acrid smoke as the flames made their way into the cockpit of the destroyed car. His eyes by now were completely swollen shut; so he couldn't see the fire. But he could feel it as tongues of flame licked at his right foot.

"Don't wanna die this way..." he sobbed; choking on the smoke that was fast filling the cockpit. He prayed that the smoke would kill him before the flames did. It became increasingly harder for him to breathe. Mercifully, he passed into unconsciousness no longer able to feel anything.

\---

Pops stared at the blazing car; shaking as he thought of his son burning to death in the inferno. "This can't be happening," he whispered.

Sparky put his arm around Trixie; her tears fell on his yellow t-shirt. "Dear God, please don't let him suffer..." he prayed.

The sound of a siren's wails startled them as a fire engine pulled up to the wreck. Two men quickly jumped off; dragging a hose behind them. They opened the nozzle and sprayed the burning car with foam. The fire was extinguished before it could spread to the gas tank.

Pops couldn't believe that his son was trapped inside the smoldering, twisted hunk of steel. He could see Speed slumped over the steering wheel; wedged between it and the rear of the car which had pushed the seat into the dashboard. The young racer was deadly still.

\---

Mom stood in the pit with Spritle and Chim-Chim by her side. She covered her mouth as she stared at the pile of smoking metal that was once the Blue Comet. "Speed..." she whispered.

"Shouldn't we go see if he's all right?" Spritle asked

She slowly shook her head. "No, we'd just be in the way." It was a lie. The real reason was because she was fearful of the condition Speed was in. She didn't want Spritle to have to see his brother badly injured... or worse.

\---

The paramedics crowded around the Blue Comet. "He's wedged in real tight. We're gonna need equipment to get him out of there," one of them said.

His colleague nodded. "Yeah, but ya know… I think, instead of us, they should've called the coroner. No way he could still be alive."

Pops stared in disbelief at what he'd just heard. "That's my kid in there, you'd better not ever talk that way again!" He peered into the wreck, "Speed... Son... it's me, Pops. Answer me if you can... please." There was only silence. Pops slowly moved back; the fear now spreading through him. "Save him... Please save my son!"

"If he's alive, we'll do everything we can for him." The paramedic managed to get his hand inside the car. He pressed his fingers against Speed's neck. "He's got a pulse. It's weak, but steady."

The lead paramedic, who had a badge with the name Ronald Johnston printed on it, put his hand up. "Stay back and calm down. Let us do our jobs." He placed his hand on the elder Racer's shoulder. "We will get your son out of there and I promise we'll do everything in our power to save him."

Pops nodded and slowly backed away. "You heard the man; let them do their jobs," he said to Trixie and Sparky.

\---

It took over twenty minutes to extricate Speed from the wreck. Trixie gasped when she caught a glimpse of his bloodied face. Could this be the same young man who only a short time ago had kissed her with such passion?

Johnston turned to the paramedic closest to him. "How bad is it?"

"He's hemorrhaging from his right leg. I can't stop the bleeding; he's going into shock." He turned to the team leader. "He's not stable enough to survive the ride to County."

"Mercy's closer, but they don't have the facilities or personnel to handle such an extreme case as this," Johnston replied.

The other paramedic agreed with him. "Gotta call the Medi-Vac 'copter, it's his only hope." He radioed County Hospital. "Chopper's already on call, seven car pile-up on I-57."

"Damn," Johnston exclaimed. He glanced down at the pale, unconscious form of the young man. "He doesn't have much time... We gotta get a chopper."

Trixie grabbed him by the arm. "I've got a helicopter. I can fly him to the hospital."

Johnston looked at her dubiously. "You? This isn't the junior prom, girlie."

Trixie exploded, her eyes burning with ire. "I'm a pilot and a damn good one! I can get him there faster than you can in your ambulance!"

"Yeah, right," Johnston said sarcastically. "This kid's in bad shape, I don't need some teenage feminist trying to prove that she's as good as any man endangering his life even more!"

"Ohhh!" Trixie balled her fists. Nobody talked to her that way; not even the man who was in charge of saving her boyfriend's life.

"Hey!" Pops interjected angrily. "This bickering is wasting valuable time. Listen, Trixie's the spotter for our team and she's the daughter of Charles J. Shimura...of Shimura Aviation! You can be damned sure she's got the right credentials to fly that thing!"

Johnston took a deep breath. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said rather contritely. "Where's your chopper?"

"Out behind the pits," she replied.

"Go get it, STAT!" She was already half way there before he finished barking out his order. He leaned over to a third paramedic who was also working on Speed. "How's he doing, Weinstein?"

"Not good," Susan Weinstein responded. "His BP's dropping rapidly. He's losing blood at an incredible rate."

"Damn it!" Johnston shouted. "Stop that freakin' bleeding! And get me some saline!" he ordered. The other paramedic ran inside the ambulance and quickly returned with a bag of saline. "That'll have to do for now."

Weinstein placed two fingers against Speed's neck. "His pulse is very weak. The blood loss is massive... I don't see how that girl and her helicopter will be of any help. She doesn't have any medical equipment on board. All we'll have is whatever we can take from the ambulance."

"We don't have much choice if we're going to save this boy's life," Johnston said.

They looked towards the sky as they heard Trixie's helicopter approaching. In an instant, it appeared over the treetops that bordered the racetrack. It slowly lowered to the ground. Johnston ran over to it, keeping his head low; the wind of the blades blowing his thick, curly, red hair.

"Let's go!" he called to Weinstein. She and her partner quickly rolled the gurney away from the wreck towards the chopper. Once there they gingerly lifted Speed inside. "Careful, it's a tight squeeze," Johnston warned.

After Speed was safely aboard, the paramedics jump inside. "Okay! We're all set!" Johnston shouted to Trixie.

"Roger," she replied in a voice so professionally calm it belied the terror growing inside her.

The paramedics continued to work on Speed and assess his injuries. His head and legs were covered with blood. "Bad facial injuries," Weinstein remarked, "But not life threatening."

"The leg is, though. Looks like the main artery is severed. I don't know if we'll be able to save it," the other paramedic, a young man by the name of Jason Smith commented. "Do you think we'll have to amputate it?"

"Saving his leg is not a priority right now," Johnson sharply replied. "His BP is dangerously low. He's going to bleed do death if we don't stop the bleeding."

\---

Even though the sound of the blades spinning blocked out much of what was being said, Trixie had been able to pick up enough information to ascertain that Speed was in dire straights. "Dear God, please don't take him. He's so young; got so much to live for... Spare his life, even if it means taking his leg," she prayed as she steered the helicopter towards County Hospital.

The trip to took less than five minutes. Trixie smoothly landed the chopper on the designated target. As she powered down the blades, she could now hear the paramedics as they desperately worked on Speed.

"...deep shock... We're gonna lose him!" Johnston shouted.

"Dammit, we're doing all we can! How many more times are you gonna use that thing?" Susan Weinstein angrily asked as Johnston readied the defibrillator for the third time.

"As many times as it takes to get his heart back to a normal rhythm," he snapped. "Okay... one, two... " He waited for the defibrillator to recharge. "Clear!" Speed's body jumped from the electrical shock rushing through it. After the shock subsided; they held their collective breaths. Then, as if by magic, Speed's heartbeat returned to normal.

Weinstein exhaled in relief. "Normal sinus rhythm… heartbeat stable..."

"Good," Johnston said. "Now, let's get him to the ER... STAT!"

\---

Trixie sat in the pilot's seat of her helicopter; unable to move. Speed was in the ER; dealing with life-threatening injuries. If she stayed here; if she didn't go inside, none of this would be real. "I can't face it... Knowing that we might never be together," she said. "It's so unfair. We were just really getting started, finally admitting our feelings for each other. And now..." She broke into wracking sobs.

She was startled by a tap on her shoulder. "Huh? What?" she cried out in surprise.

"I'm sorry to frighten you, Miss," a man in a hospital maintenance uniform, complete with gloves and mask, said, "I'm here to clean up the mess."

"Mess?" she asked.

"Yeah, the mess over there." He pointed to the pools of Speed's blood which were already staring to coagulate. "Stuff's a biohazard, you know?" He shook his head. "So much blood. What a mess! I seen these kinda things before, they never turn out good. That guy's as good as dead."

She stared at the blood; her eyes seemingly glued to the sight. Reality hit her with the force of a bullet." No! You're wrong! He's alive! Speed!" She jumped out of the cockpit and ran through the emergency entrance.

\---

Trixie paced the ER. "I wish I knew something... Anything about how he's doing..." She watched as doctors and nurses rushed about and patients wandered in and out.

"Those accident victims will be here any minute. Get set up for triage, STAT!" the head nurse barked orders to her staff.

Trixie approached her. "Can you please tell me how Speed Racer is doing?"

"You'll have to check with his treating physician," the nurse answered brusquely.

"I don't know who that is," the younger woman explained. "Speed crashed in a race, he's badly injured and I..."

The nurse cut her off, "I don't have time for you right now. This place is gonna be swamped with casualties any second. We have to prepare for them. Sorry."

Trixie's face was wet with tears as she morosely started to walk away. "He's probably dead and she doesn't want to be the one to tell me."

"He's alive," a female voice from behind her said.

"Huh?" Trixie wheeled around. "He is?"

An attractive, young, cinnamon-colored skinned nurse smiled sympathetically at her. "The doctors are doing everything they can to save him. But his injuries are very severe. He's lost a lot of blood."

"Yes, I know..." Trixie said; sniffling.

"I wish I had something more positive to say. I'm sorry that I can't tell you more," the nurse apologized. "They've got me on triage duty. There was a bad car wreck. I'll try to get more information if I get the chance."

"Thank you," Trixie said. "I'd appreciate it."

The nurse squeezed her shoulder. "Hang in there, honey."

\---

The ER was soon a place of total bedlam as the accident victims were brought in. Trixie watched as, one by one, family members arrived. She thought of Speed's parents. "Where are they?" she wondered. "It seems like I've been here for hours." Though in reality it had only been little more than thirty minutes.

Finally, they burst through the doors of the ER, followed by Sparky who was tightly holding a frightened Spritle's hand.

"Any news?" Pops asked.

"I spoke to a nurse a short time ago. She said he's alive, but in really bad shape," Trixie said.

"My poor baby," Mom Racer cried. "I want to go to him!" She turned towards the ER.

Pops held her. "Not right now, dear, you'd only be in the way."

Mom pulled back from her husband. "Well I can't stand around doing nothing!"

"Excuse me," a plump nurse interrupted them. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm going to need some information, for admission."

"I'll do it," Mom said. "It will keep me busy until we hear from the doctor."

"Poor Mom," Sparky said as he watched Speed's mother head off with the nurse. "I can't imagine what she's going through; having to see her son involved in such a horrible crash."

"I know... Being his girlfriend and watching was awful enough," Trixie said; fighting back the panic that kept trying to take her over. "He can't die, Sparky, he just can't!"

\---

"Name?" the nurse asked in a business-like tone.

"Speed... I mean, Gregory Racer," Mom replied, stammering a bit. "Sorry, I'm having a hard time with this."

The nurse softened her attitude. "I understand. I wish I didn't have to do this, but we need this information for your son's medical records."

"No, I understand. Please, I'd rather get it over with."

The nurse nodded in agreement. "Date of birth?"

Mom started breathing heavily, suddenly remembering every moment of labor with her son. "November twenty-third... _(author's note: According to the Tasunoko Baby website, Speed's birthday is 11/23. I never figured him for a Sagittarius!)_ She shook her head trying remember his birth year. "Sorry...I can't think clearly. He turned twenty years old two months ago."

The nurse patted her hand. "Twenty; same age as my son," she acknowledged. "The coming year will be a big one our boys."

Mom smiled. "Yes, he'll be twenty-one... Seems that's all Speed talks about lately, being a legal adult..."

The nurse chuckled. "Little do they know that being a grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be."

Mom tried to laugh in agreement; instead she swallowed a sob. "Yes my little boy, all grown up. If God wills it..."

The nurse blinked back her own tears and had to force herself to regain her professional composure before she continued. "Any allergies?" she asked; trying not to picture her own son lying, near death, on a gurney.

Mom inhaled deeply and spoke in an incredibly calm voice, "Cats, some dogs, at least when he was younger."

\---

The group sat quietly as they waited. Pops glanced once in awhile at his wife as she spoke with the admitting nurse.

"It's taking forever," Trixie said. "I just wished we'd hear something... anything."

"Maybe no news is good news," Sparky spoke with a forced cheerfulness that he didn't feel.

"I'd settle for any news at this point," Pops commented.

Spritle shifted uncomfortably in his seat; he was getting restless and hungry. "Pops, can I get some candy or something? I'm starved."

His father shook his head. "You'll have to wait. I'm not budging from this seat until I talk to Speed's doctor. You should be ashamed of yourself, thinking about food when your brother is in the ER."

Spritle's eyes filled with tears. "I love my brother!" he cried. "I just wanted some candy. I woulda given some to Speedy later when I saw him."

Pops closed his eyes thinking that it would be a long time before Speed would be able to eat candy, if ever.

"I'll take him to get something to eat, Pops," Sparky volunteered. He was also feeling restless and needed to stretch his legs. "C'mon, sport."

Spritle rose to join him. At that same moment a doctor left the ER and walked towards them.

"Hold on a minute, Sparky," Pops said to the ace mechanic, "I think the doctor's coming."

The group, now joined by Mom, surrounded the physician. "Mr. And Mrs. Racer?" he inquired of the middle-aged couple that stood before him.

"Yes," Pops, protective arm around his wife, answered, "we're the Racers."

"My name is Dr. Arturo Cardiovas, Gregory's attending physician." He shook Pops' hand. "I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

"Yeah well, I don't think we'd be meeting at all if my boy hadn't ..." Pops choked back the words.

"Yes, I guess so," the doctor said, "unfortunately."

"How is he? How is my son?" Mom asked.

"Please, come with me," the doctor responded. He turned to the others. "All of you, come this way."

Mom turned to her husband and whispered, "Why won't he tell us anything?"

They were led across the waiting area to a door that led to another, smaller room. "Have a seat, please." He motioned to the soft, leather couch that was flanked by wing chairs on either side. The attending physician's expression was grim.

Trixie shook nervously as she took her seat. She'd seen this scene repeated many times on television medical shows: The doctor calling the family of the patient into a private room and informing them that their loved one has passed on. "This can only mean one thing," she thought; bile rising in her throat, hysteria threatening to claim her, "Speed's dead..."


	4. Prayers in the Night

 

* * *

Trixie nervously stared at Dr. Cardiovas; wishing she could block out whatever he had to say. On her right sat Sparky. She didn't even realize that she was holding his hand.

Pops had his arm around Mom, who held Spritle as if trying to shield him from the bad news that she was sure they were about to hear

The doctor crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "I thought that you folks might like some privacy. The ER is going to be swarming with reporters shortly. I don't think you need the added stress of their presence while your son is being attended to."

"Being attended to... Does that mean Speed is still alive?" Mom asked hopefully.

"Yes," the doctor said. There was a collective sigh of relief from the group. "He's still alive, though I'm not sure how. His injuries are grave."

Mom closed her eyes. "My poor baby..."

"Doctor, just how badly is he hurt?" Pops asked.

The doctor ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair. "When the car impacted against the wall, Gregory's right side was compromised. The steering wheel crushed his chest causing both lungs to collapse; the right one was punctured. His right leg was nearly severed above the knee; which caused massive blood loss. Everything possible is being done to save the leg. Although, in my opinion, he will most likely lose it as there are also second and third degree burns on the lower portion of it and the foot. Even if we do manage to somehow save it, there is no guarantee that he'll ever have full use of it."

"Oh dear God," Mom cried.

"There were also first and second degree burns on his left leg, but they should heal without causing any permanent damage." The doctor handed Mrs. Racer a tissue before he continued. "We're also concerned about internal injuries, the extent of which we'll know after a more thorough examination. Then, there is the issue of shock, due to the massive loss of blood."

"There was a lot of blood on Speed's face..." Trixie remarked.

"Gregory, I mean Speed, suffered severe facial injuries when his face hit the steering wheel. His nose is broken and there are orbital rim fractures."

"Orbital rim fractures? What's that?" Pops asked.

"Broken eye sockets," the doctor explained. "We don't know the effect this will have on his vision. Honestly, since those injuries are not considered life threatening his surgical treatment will be to repair the damage only. Should Speed survive his injuries, a qualified plastic surgeon can be assigned to the case, if need be."

"Should Speed survive... " Mom said. "Do you mean that you don't think he'll make it?"

"I'm sorry to say that it is a possibility. Though, he's young and in excellent physical condition. Two factors that weigh heavily in his favor."

Pops rubbed his eyes. "It still doesn't sound good to me."

"Mr. Racer," Dr. Cardiovas placed a hand on his shoulder, "your son is in the best of hands. The physicians in this hospital are amongst the top staff in the state. If anyone can save Speed's life, they can."

"I hope so," Trixie whispered; still grasping Sparky's hand. She regarded the doctor. "When I landed my chopper the paramedics were using a defibrillator on Speed."

"Yes. You must understand that his heart is under tremendous strain because of the blood loss and the condition of his lungs. That strain caused him to go into cardiac arrest. While we have managed to inflate the lungs we will still need to operate. Because his body is already stressed, there will be three teams of surgeons working on him simultaneously."

"Three teams?" Pops asked.

"Yes. One will be attempting to repair his leg, the second will be working on his lungs and the third, his face."

"Unbelievable," Pops remarked. "When are they going to do this?"

"As soon as he is stable enough to handle the stress of the operations," Dr. Cardiovas said.

"Do you know when that will be?" Mom asked.

I'm sorry, but I don't know. When a patient is as severely injured as your son stabilization is difficult."

"With injuries that bad, I have a feeling he's not going to be well for a long time," Pops said.

"Your son will have months, perhaps even years, of recovery ahead of him."

"Years?" Pops said, shaking his head in disbelief. "What if he doesn't fully recover? What then?"

"Mr. Racer, we mustn't worry ourselves over _what ifs_. None of us has any idea of what the future holds. The main thing is to stay focused on the present."

Pops rolled his eyes. "Great... My son's physician is a freaking philosopher. Listen, Doc, racing is my son's life. It will destroy him if he can't do it anymore. I _need_ to think of his future!"

"Dear, Dr. Cardiovas said he'd do everything to help Speed. You've got to trust him," Mom said.

Pops sighed. "I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

A nurse entered the room. "Doctor, you're needed in the ER," she said. "We've got him stabilized."

Cardiovas nodded. "Thank you, I'm on my way." He turned to Speed's parents. "We'll do all we can, I promise."

"Thank you, doctor." Mom smiled gratefully as Cardiovas rushed from the room towards the OR where he, and his staff, held Speed's life in their hands.

"So I guess now we wait." Pops said.

"For however long it takes." Mom said softly. "He's going to make it, he has to."

Trixie stared ahead; the words of the doctor sinking in. _"He's in such bad shape… What if he doesn't pull through?"_ she asked herself. _"I don't think I can live without him…"_ She wiped a tear from her eye and inhaled deeply in an attempt to stay calm. _"Dear God, please don't let him die."_

Sparky berated himself. _"I had a feeling that something wasn't right with that car, but I didn't say anything. If he dies, his blood is on my hands."_

Pops feelings were nearly identical to Sparky's. _"I should have done more tests runs with that blasted car. If I had, Speed wouldn't have been in the accident. It's my fault that this happened."_

Even Spritle felt the gravity of the situation and sat quietly next to his mother; wondering what his world would be like should his worshipped, older brother succumb to his injuries. He looked up at his mother and finally spoke, "Mom, is Speedy really gonna die?"

His mother wanted more than anything to reassure him that his brother would be fine, but was unable to lie to the boy. "I don't know, baby. The doctors and nurses are trying very, very hard to save his life."

"I wish I was a doctor so I could help Dr. Cardiovas save Speed's life," the youngster said earnestly.

Mom forced a smile. "If you study hard and get good grades, maybe someday you will get to be a doctor."

"If I do, I'm gonna be a surgeon and save people's lives just like Dr. Cardiovas is gonna save Speedy."

His mother hugged him, envious of that special faith that only a child has.

\---

Trixie glanced at her watch; forty-five minutes had gone by since the doctor left. "Sparky, do you want to got get a cup of coffee or something? I'm going crazy sitting here."

The mechanic nodded. "Sure. I don't think we're gonna hear anything anytime soon." He stood and followed her to the door.

"Oh my God!" Trixie exclaimed as they left their little waiting room. The ER waiting area was in chaos as relatives of the car crash victims awaited word on their loved ones. "I can't believe this place, it's a madhouse!"

Sparky shook his head as he looked around. "Who knows how many people were hurt in that Interstate crash?"

"There are so many people injured. I hope they don't take a doctor or nurse off Speed's case to help them."

"They won't do that, Trix. They'll just call in more staff, that's all."

"I hope so because Speed needs all the medical attention they can give him," she said.

They went down the hall to the coffee machine. "I'm going to bring a cup back for Mrs. Racer," Trixie said.

"I'll get one for Pops and some candy for Spritle. Poor kid, he's got to be scared and confused. He loves his brother so much."

Trixie nodded. _"I've never loved anybody as much as I love Speed,"_ she said to herself feeling the panic starting to rise up in her again. _"I don't know what I'd do if I lost him... "_

As they made their way back towards the ER waiting area, Trixie nearly bumped into the young nurse she had spoken with earlier. "Oh! I'm sorry," she said.

"How are you doing honey?" the nurse asked.

"I'm hanging in there. They're operating on Speed right now."

"Yes, I know. He's very lucky to have Dr. Cardiovas working on his case," the nurse said. "If anybody can save his life, he can."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that," Trixie said.

"He's in good hands, sweetie." She gave Trixie a pat on the shoulder and glanced at the doors leading into the ER. "I better get back inside. I'll say a prayer for your boyfriend."

"Thank you," Trixie said softly with tears in her eyes.

The nurse smiled and quickly went back into the ER while Sparky and Trixie made their way back to the waiting room, juggling coffee and candy.

\---

"It's been over three hours and no word. I can't take this waiting anymore." Pops was no longer able to sit still and had taken to pacing about the room. "Trixie, maybe you should go find that nurse and see if she has any more news."

"She's very busy, Pops. I don't want to bother her. Besides, she's probably in the ER working on one of the accident victims," Trixie said. "It so horrible, all those people hurt... Whole families were injured."

"To hell with them!" Pops exclaimed. "All I care about is my boy."

Mom couldn't believe what she had just heard. "That's a terrible thing to say! Those people deserve care just as much as Speed does." She motioned to a television in the corner that Spritle had been watching earlier. The news was now on and there was intensive coverage of the Interstate cash. "Look at that! All those poor people were doing was going about their lives. And then a fuel truck goes out of control and crashes into another truck causing a huge explosion and dozens of people are injured. It's so awful!" Already distressed over Speed's accident, tears fell from Mom Racer's eyes.

"That's what they get for driving on the Interstate. I don't feel sorry for them," Pops said bitterly. "Idiots!"

"People might be saying the same thing about Speed... That he got what he deserved for risking his life on the racetrack. Do you think it's okay for people to call him an idiot?" Mom chided him.

"If anyone's an idiot, it's ME!" Pops cried. "I never should have let him drive that car. I should have insisted he drive the Mach Five!"

"Pops, it's not your fault," Sparky said. "Speed wanted to drive the Blue Comet. He would never have taken no for an answer. He's stubborn that way."

The Racer patriarch nodded. "Yeah... An annoying trait he inherited from me, unfortunately. He just had to race that damn car today. ' _It's the first race of the season, Pops. Just think of all the attention the Blue Comet will get!'_ Oh yeah, it got attention all right." With a sudden rage, Pops slammed his fist on the coffee table. Damn him... **Damn that car!** If he dies... " He blinked, desperately trying not to cry.

"Speed's a tough guy. He's gonna pull through," Sparky said.

"Doesn't sound that way from what the doctor said."

"You gotta think positive."

Pops snorted derisively. "Think positive. You sound just like my wife. Cock-eyed optimists, the both of you."

"Well, it's true," Sparky countered.

"What's true is that my son has a snowball's chance in hell of surviving."

"Will you please stop talking that way?" Mom exclaimed. "You've already got Speed dead!" She stood up and walked quickly across the room on the verge of a complete breakdown.

Spritle ran to her. "No! He's not gonna die!"

Mom held him close. "Remember what the doctor told us, Spritle. He's going to do everything in his power to save Speed. Your father is just upset and doesn't know what he's saying." She glared at her husband.

Pops returned the glare and said, "I need a smoke."

"Fine, leave your family in our time of need to indulge in your filthy habit!" Mom spat.

Trixie angrily stood up. "Stop it, both of you!" she shouted. "How can you act like this? Speed needs us right now. He needs our prayers, our thoughts, not our fighting! We've got to stick together for his sake!"

Mom looked down, chagrined. The younger woman was right. "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

Pops walked over and embraced his wife. "I'm sorry, too. I guess I'm losing my mind. The idea of Speed being so badly injured... I keep thinking it's all a dream; a nightmare that I'm gonna wake up from. But, it's real and I can't take it."

Now, it was his Mom's turn to comfort him. "He's going to make it. I know he is," she whispered softly in his ear. "Have faith."

"I'll try," he said.

"Now, weren't you going out for a smoke? It's okay. I know that right now it's something you need. Even though I don't understand how you can fill your lungs with that poison. But, this one time, I'm going to make an exception." She forced a little smile and winked.

"Thanks." He kissed her cheek. "Is it any wonder why I fall in love with you more and more each day?"

Mom took hold of his hand. "We're going to get through this… together."

He gazed at her; the tiniest of smiles crept upon his face. "I don't think I really need that cigarette," he said. She lay her head on his shoulder and sighed. The room again fell silent.

\---

Pops sat with his head back and eyes closed; trying not to think of anything. He was growing tired and was about to drift off when a commotion just outside the door roused him. An angry voice was arguing with someone.

"I have every right to be in that room; my family's in there!" a man yelled.

"I'm sorry, sir, but only immediate family is allowed," another man said.

"Speed is my brother's son, damn it!"

"Sir I..."

Pops flung open the door with such swiftness that the security guard who was blocking it almost fell over. "Henry!" the Racer patriarch exclaimed.

"Will you tell this dolt that I'm family?" The man's face was scarlet from agitation.

"It's okay, he's my brother," Pops declared.

"I told you," Henry Racer said.

With scowl, the guard moved aside and allowed Pops' brother entry into the little waiting room. "I was just doing my job," he said. "Next time maybe you should have proper identification." With a disgusted shake of his head he strode away.

"Jackass. I showed him my license but he said it wasn't good enough."

"I'm glad your here, Henry," Pops said.

"How's Speed?"

"Not good. He's got a ton of injuries. They've been operating on him for hours." Pops lowered his voice, "It doesn't look good."

"I'm sorry." Henry knew the pain Pops was going through, having lost his own son, Hank, in a crash several years earlier. "I wish there was something I could do."

"Being here is enough," Pops said.

Henry Racer heaved a sad sigh and joined the rest of the family in their vigil.

\---

Another two hours passed. The family grew anxious. Finally, the door opened and an exhausted Dr. Cardiovas entered. He pulled up a chair and faced the group. "The surgery went as well as could be expected. The damage to his lungs has been repaired; he's on a ventilator and probably will be for at least the next seventy-two hours. Two large gashes on his face have been stitched. When he's stronger, a plastic surgeon will be able to reduce the scarring. The bones in his nose have been realigned. Gauze packing was inserted to stem excess bleeding. Down the road he may wish to have rhinoplasty to repair any deformities caused by the crash."

"Doctor, what about his leg?" Mom asked.

"We managed to reattach the severed parts. The blood seems to be flowing well through the limb. The burns weren't as extensive as we first thought. The burn specialist applied temporary skin grafts. In about a week, when your son is stronger, skin from elsewhere on his body will be used for a permanent skin graft. It's too early to say with one-hundred percent certainty, but I think his leg will heal and he might even have some use of it."

"Thank God..." Mom said.

"There are a couple of other injuries that I need to discuss with you," Dr. Cardiovas said. "The first is that Speed's right arm was fractured in the crash. It was a clean break and should heal with no problems."

"He broke his left arm when he was a kid when he fell on the playground. Six weeks in a cast and it was good as new," Pops remarked.

"You said injuries, Doctor," Mom said. "What else do you have to tell us?"

"While studying his x-rays, it was discovered that his spleen was ruptured. The team that worked on his chest removed it."

"Well, that's not a big deal, right?" Trixie inquired. "Plenty of people live without spleens."

The doctor nodded. "Yes. Although the risk of infection is slightly higher. But with proper precautions, a normal life is possible."

"So, in spite of everything the surgery went pretty well?" Pops asked.

"For somebody as gravely injured as Speed, yes it did. But he's far from being out of the woods. His heart is still under tremendous strain. We also don't know if there was any brain damage due the lack of oxygen when he suffered cardiac arrest. The next forty-eight hours are critical. If he survives them, his odds will increase dramatically."

"A lot can happen in two days," Pops said.

"There are a few positives, Mr. Racer," the doctor tried to reassure him. "Normally, a crash of this nature would incur a spinal cord injury. Somehow, Speed escaped any injury to that area. And for all the damage done to his face, he only suffered a mild concussion. The CT scan showed minor cerebral swelling, which makes it doubtful that the accident itself caused his brain to suffer any kind of injury."

"Well, that's something good," Sparky said. He broke into a smile. "I've always told Speed he was hard-headed. I guess this proves it."

Pops chortled. "Another trait he gets from me."

"Tell me about it," Mom said. Suddenly, she started giggling. "Thick skulls, the both of you!"

The entire room burst into laughter as they released the pent-up energy of having to wait for so long. Dr. Cardiovas even chuckled a bit. It was something he had seen before in stressful situations. _"Having a good sense of humor will help them keep their spirits up for the dark days that lie ahead,"_ he thought.

They quieted down after a few minutes. The atmosphere in the room didn't seem nearly as oppressive as it had only a few minutes earlier. Cardiovas rose from his chair. His body felt stiff from the hours of standing in the OR.

"Doctor, when can we see him?" Mom asked.

"He's in recovery right now. I'll send in a nurse when he's settled in the ICU," he said.

\---

Nearly another hour went by before a nurse notified them that Speed was out of recovery. "The patient is in the ICU and may receive visitors," she said in a businesslike tone of voice. "Only immediate family will be allowed in at this time."

Trixie was crestfallen. "I can't see him?"

"Not right now. Tomorrow he'll be able to have regular visitors. Hospital rules," she explained. "You're welcome to come to the ICU waiting room."

"It's better than nothing, I guess," Sparky said.

They were led out of the ER and down the hall. A sign above a set of double doors read **Intensive Care Unit**. The nurse pushed the doors open and went through; the family followed close behind. They came upon an area with some hard plastic chairs and a small coffee table. "Mr. and Mrs. Racer, if you'll follow me, I'll take you to see your son."

Sparky, Trixie, Spritle and Henry sat in the uncomfortable chairs and waited.

"I'll need the ICU myself if I have to sit in these chairs for very long," Henry complained.

Sparky picked up a magazine from the coffee table. "This thing is two years old!" he said. "Nothing like reading about the football predictions for games that were played a couple of seasons ago."

"I don't care about that," Spritle said. "I couldn't even read some of these magazines back then so they're all new to me."

Trixie said, and did, nothing. She just stared down the hall where Mom and Pops Racer had gone; wishing she had been allowed to go with them.

\---

The ICU was divided into five units, each of which held four beds. Speed's parents were led into the second unit. The sounds of medical equipment reverberated throughout the sterile room.

They looked about. To their right an elderly woman moaned as a nurse took her blood pressure. Next to her, an African-American man, his head bandaged, lay unconscious. The bed across from him was empty.

A curtain separated the adjacent bed. Mom and Pops walked around it. A young man lie very still, his nose covered in white bandages that accentuated the reddish-purple color of his face. Said face was swollen so much that his eyes were nothing more than dark slits. A ventilator did his breathing for him; his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. His right arm was in a cast. The leg on that same side was swathed in bandages. Not a sound came from him, he seemed more dead than alive.

"Poor bastard…" Pops said. He looked around the room again. "I think they made a mistake. I don't see Speed…"

Mom Racer cut him off as she squeezed his arm. "It's him," she said in a soft, pained voice.

"Who?"

"Him… The boy in that bed. He's our son!"

"No, it can't be..." Pops went to the bed and read the chart. "Racer, Gregory. Oh my God! Speed…"

Mom walked over to his bed. "My baby… I'm afraid to even touch him."

An ICU nurse approached her. "Don't be. His left hand, hold it. Let him know you're here."

Mom nodded and took his hand which, except for a few scratches and the IV needle attached to it, was remarkably unscathed. "Can he feel me holding his hand?"

"I'm not sure; he's very heavily sedated," the nurse said. "Although studies show that human touch is a very important part of the healing process even when a patient is in a deep coma. Talking, too."

"What do I say?"

"Just speak to him; let him hear your voice. Let him know that you and his father are here."

"Speed…" She sighed and shook her head. "No, that's not right. He needs to be called his real name, the name his father and I gave him. The name that I called him when he was a child… Gregory… Greggie, baby... It's Mommy. I'm here. I won't let anything else happen to you, sweetheart…" Tears fell on the white sheet that covered her son's body. "I love you, Greggie… Always…"

Pops stood on the other side of the bed and gazed down at his injured child. Grief and guilt weighed heavily up him. "I did this to my son," he said.


	5. Precious Memories

Trixie tapped her fingers on the metal armrest of the chair. She was a wreck. How could the other three sit there so calmly when Speed's parents were down the hall visiting with him for the first time since the crash? " _It feels like they've been in with him forever, but it's only been twenty minutes,"_ she reminded herself. She knew that they most likely would be out shortly as visiting time in the ICU was limited.

The sound of footsteps could be heard coming towards them. Sparky and Spritle looked up from their magazines. Henry stiffly sat straighter. Trixie quickly stood. She wobbled for a moment; her legs feeling like Jello. Mom Racer came into view, she walked slowly.

"How is he?" Trixie asked; almost dreading the answer.

She shook head. "Not good. They have so many tubes going into his body. He's on a respirator, he can't even breathe on his own. He looks so bad... It was hard to believe it was him lying there.”

"Oh God... " Trixie said.

Sparky looked around. "Where's Pops?"

"He needed to use the men's room. Seeing Speed really shook him up. He didn't even recognize him," Mom said. "But I did. I knew it was him. I'd recognize my child no matter what. My poor little boy..." She was trying hard not to break down.

Pops returned from the men's room; his face ashen. "There's nothing more we can do tonight. Let's go," he said.

Henry pulled him to the side. "Do you want me to take Spritle for the night? I think he could use a break from the stress."

Pops nodded. "That might be the best thing. You sure you don't mind? That kid can be quite a handful." He glanced over to where a very tired Spritle desperately tried to keep his eyes open.

"He's a good kid. He told me that Chim-Chim is in your pit's office at the track. We'll swing by and pick him up on the way home."

"Thanks." He turned to Trixie, "What about your chopper?"

"I can call my father and he'll have someone come and get it. I don't think I'm in the right frame of mind to fly it right now."

"I'm sure you're not, sweetie," Mom said. "Why don't you and Sparky spend the night with us and first thing in the morning we can come back and visit Speed."

"Sure," Sparky said. "That sounds like a good idea."

Trixie nodded. "I don't want to be alone tonight." She looked down the hall towards the ICU. "I don't know if I can stand waiting until tomorrow to see him..."

Mom and Pops exchanged glances. She might not feel the same way when she saw how Speed looked.

They huddled together and walked towards the exit.

\---

In the shadows of the hallway, a figure watched the family as they left the hospital. When he was sure they were gone, he emerged. He was wearing street clothes and a black mask with a white X on it. He removed it and took a deep breath and hoped he would be able to talk his way into the ICU.

He approached the nursing station. "Excuse me, would you have any information on the condition of Gregory Racer?"

"Are you family?" the nurse asked.

"Yes, I am." He opened his wallet and showed her his driver's license. "I'm his brother."

"Rex Racer... " she murmured. "You just missed your folks."

"I know. I wasn't able to get here until now. My brother... how is he?"

"He's in critical condition with very severe injuries to his chest and right leg. You should really speak to his doctor; he can give you the most accurate information. Unfortunately, he's not available at the moment."

"I see. Would it be possible to visit my brother?"

"It's late and normally we don't allow visitors at this time, but I don't see how a few minutes would do any harm."

He followed her to Speed's unit and gasped when he saw him. The nurse gave him a look of sympathy before leaving. "Speed... Little brother how could this have happened to you?" Rex held his limp hand as tears fell on it. "I should have protected you, prevented the accident from ever happening. I'm so sorry, Speed..."

\---

Pops pulled the car into the driveway of the Racer home. The house looked dark and foreboding. "I forgot to turn on the outside light," he said thinking that he didn't see the need to, as he was sure they would be home before it got dark. Little did he know how the day would turn out.

He fumbled with the key and finally got the door open. His finger flicked a switch and the room was bathed in light. The rest followed him inside.

The first thing Trixie saw was a Speed's graduation picture hanging along with other family photos on the wall. _"He looked so handsome and proud that day,"_ she remembered. It was then she noticed just how many pictures of him were hung in the Racer living room. _"I've been in here hundreds of times and this is the first time I've ever really seen them."_

"Does anybody want coffee?" Mom asked.

"I'll have a cup," Pops said. "I doubt I'll be getting any sleep tonight."

Sparky shook his head. "No thanks. A glass of milk might hit the spot, though."

"I don't want anything, thanks. I think I'll just go to bed," Trixie said.

"All right, dear. Let me just get you something to wear and then I'll set you up in the guest room," Mom said.

"Would... Would it be okay if I slept in Speed's room?"

"Of course. Go and get yourself settled, I'll be up with a night gown for you."

Trixie nodded and slowly ascended the stairs; too distraught to even say goodnight to the family. She wasn't sure why she wanted to sleep in Speed's room; she just knew she had to. _"I couldn't stay downstairs surrounded by all those pictures of him. Thinking of how happy he was today, the joy in his voice..."_ She stood for a moment outside his room then slowly opened the door. _"This is just how he left it this morning."_ She looked at the bed. _"He should be sound asleep here in his own bed instead of in the hospital."_ It was then that she remembered her apartment decorated with candles and the very sexy negligee' she had planned on wearing tonight. " _No, he was supposed to sleep in my bed. We were going to celebrate, win or lose."_ She wondered if they'd ever get the chance to consummate their love now.

There was a light tap on the door. "May I come it?" It was Speed's mother.

"Sure," Trixie said; wiping her eyes.

Mom's hand went to her mouth when she entered the room. "Oh my... " She took a deep breath. "For a moment, I expected to see Speed standing here. I guess it hasn't hit me yet, what happened to him... " She handed Trixie a night gown and robe. On impulse, she grabbed the younger woman and hugged her close. "I'm so glad you were there for him today. Speed loves you, you know. Very much. Oh, he'd never say it, but I know he does." She slowly withdrew. "I was hoping one day that you and he might..." She sighed and shrugged.

Trixie nodded. "Me too."

Mom again hugged her. "You try and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is going to be another long day."

"I know..."

The young woman sighed as Mom left. "That poor woman, I can't even imagine what she's going through."

She changed into the nightgown and went into the bathroom to wash up and brush her teeth. A tiny smile crossed her face when she opened the medicine chest and saw three brand new toothbrushes on the third shelf. _"Good old Mom, always thinking about her guests."_ On the same shelf as the toothbrushes sat a razor. She picked it up; remembering Speed's joking comment earlier about growing a beard. _"Oh Speed... You could grow a long beard like a mountain man and I wouldn't care as long as you were healthy and by my side."_

Her business in the bathroom completed she was about to turn off the light when something caught her eye. A pale blue, terrycloth robe was draped over the shower rod. "Speed's robe..." she said softly. She gently pulled it from the rod and held it close to her. She pressed her nose to it smelling a mixture of soap, shampoo, after-shave and that very unique scent that was Speed. "Oh dear God... Why did this have to happen?" Unable to stop her tears, she climbed into the bed; buried her face in the robe and cried herself to sleep.

\---

Mom Racer sat on the living room sofa with a large book on her lap. She stared down at it, studying the first page.

Sparky joined her. "What's that?" he asked.

"Speed's scrap book," she replied. "Each of my boys has one. I started them from the day they were born with copies of their birth certificates, footprints, baby pictures, locks of hair... "

"Oh."

She pointed at a picture of an infant Speed. "Look at him. Wasn't he beautiful? When I'd walk him in his stroller people would actually stop to comment about what a handsome child he was. I was told, on more than one occasion, that I should put him into modeling." She chuckled. "Pops wouldn't have any of that. _"No boy of mine is going to be a sissy model,"_ he told me. "Still, it was tempting."

Sparky nodded, but said nothing. He decided that she just needed to talk right now.

"Oh and look at this one!" she said after she turned the page. "His first day of school. He was so excited! He wanted so much to be a big boy, like Rex. It was so hard to let him get on that school bus. I cried all morning... And this one, taken when Pops took him to watch his first race. Speed was thrilled. I think he was about five or six at the time. I remember him going on for days about the cars and that someday he would race them." She glanced up with a far away look in her eyes. "I was hoping against hope that he'd change his mind, get involved with academics or maybe the arts. That boy had such talent. Did you know he could draw?"

"No, I didn't. He never told me."

"Beautiful drawings and not just that, he could write, too. He was such a sensitive boy. The poetry he wrote, even when he was very young, came from his soul."

"Poetry... Wow, that's another thing I never knew about him," Sparky remarked.

Mom heaved a great sigh. "He stopped writing it years ago. His father didn't approve." There was another sigh and a shake of her head. "Speed always tried so hard to gain his father's approval. Too bad Pops never told him that he already had it." She suddenly shut the book. "I can't look at this anymore. I think I need to get some rest."

"You must be exhausted, Mrs. R," Sparky said.

"I don't know what I am at this point." She patted his hand. "You're such a good friend to my son, Sparky."

"I love him like a brother. I still can't believe what happened today," he said.

Mom closed her eyes. "Neither can I," she whispered.

\---

Sparky stared at the dark ceiling; he knew that sleep would elude him. The sound of the ceiling fan was somewhat comforting and helped him relax a bit. But there was something else he heard, a metallic banging sound coming from somewhere outside. "What the heck is that?" He looked out the window; there was a light on in the garage. The shadow of a large man could be seen lumbering about inside. "Pops? What's he doing in there at this time of night?"

Curiosity got the better of him. Sparky changed into his street clothes and went out to the garage. He found Pops inside pounding what looked like a car fender with a hammer. Tears fell from his eyes as he cursed himself with each smash of the hammer. "Damn it, why did I let him drive that blasted car?" **Bang!** "It's all my fault he's going to die." **Slam!** "I should burn in hell for what I did to him!" **Clang!**

Sparky took hold of his arm. "Pops, what the heck are you doing?"

Pops stared at him with dazed eyes. "My son... I killed my son."

"What are you talking about? Speed's alive, you even saw him!"

Pops put down the hammer and collapsed on his workbench. "He might be alive... for now. But he's not going to last the night."

Sparky sat on the floor across from him. "How do you know that?"

"When I left the men's room at the hospital I heard Dr. Cardiovas talking with one of the nurses. He said Speed's name and told her that there was nothing more he could do for him and to try to keep him comfortable. I went up to him and asked just exactly what he meant by that. I told him that I wanted to know the truth about Speed's condition. He said Speed's blood pressure was falling; that his body bodily functions were starting to fail. He said it was a good thing that his mother and I had one last chance to see him alive." His voice dropped. "He told me that I should expect a phone call from the hospital sometime tonight because he doubted that Speed would survive into the morning. I didn't have the heart to tell his mother that. I wanted at least one of us to have some hope. I wanted to let her have one more night of peace because after tomorrow her life, our lives, will never be the same." He buried his face in his hands and cried. "He can't die! My boy can't die! It's all my fault that this happened!"

Sparky wrapped his arms around the burly man as best he could. "It's just as much my fault as it is yours, Pops. I had my doubts about that car. Speed's blood is on my hands, too."

The two men held each other for a few moments and then sat together in silence. Every few minutes one of then would glance at the black phone on Pops' workbench.


	6. The Day After

The early morning sun shone through the bright, flowered curtains of the Racer family's kitchen. Birds perched on the branches of the old oak that stood majestically on the front lawn. They sang joyously, some of them stopping just long enough to feed at the birdhouse that Mom Racer had lovingly placed there for them. The scene outside sharply contrasted with the one inside. Sparky and Pops had moved from the garage to the kitchen. They sat morosely at the table sipping the reheated coffee from the night before.

"It's morning," Sparky said. "No phone call."

Pops nodded. "I was thinking the same thing." He rose from his seat. "I think maybe I should make a fresh pot of coffee. The others will probably be up soon." He was in the process of making the brew when the phone rang. The color drained from his face as he froze in place.

The phone rang five times before either man could say anything. "I think maybe you'd better answer that before Mrs. Racer does," Sparky said.

Pops nodded and took a deep breath before picking up the receiver. "Hello?" He visibly relaxed as the voice at the other end spoke. "No, we haven't heard anything this morning... Yes, I guess no news is good news... I didn't sleep much either... How's Spritle doing?...Yeah, I think that's a good idea. He loves going to the amusement park... I'll keep in touch. Just make sure you remember to bring your cell phone with you... Thanks... Bye."

"Henry?"

"Uh huh. He wanted to know if we heard anything. I guess if something happened the hospital would have called us." He picked up the receiver again. "I think maybe I should call them." He had no trouble remembering the number for it seemed to have burned itself into his brain. After what seemed like an eternity, someone at the front desk finally answered the phone. "Hello, my son is in your ICU and I'd like to know how he's doing this morning... Patient's name? Gregory Racer. Yes, I can hold... " He covered the mouthpiece. "Put me on hold. I hate this waiting... Huh? What do you mean you can't give me more than basic information? I'm his _father_ for Pete's sake!... Uh... Yes, I understand about the press but surely family isn't included in this gag order... Oh for the love of... We'll be there as soon as we can and then maybe I can get some information about the condition of my boy... Thanks for nothing!" He slammed the phone down. "All they would tell me is that he's resting comfortably. Can you believe that? Damn press has been ringing the phones off the hook all night. Thanks to _them,_ all information regarding Speed is being kept strictly confidential."

"I don't believe it. Cripes, you'd think that the press would they'd give us a break under these circumstances," Sparky remarked.

"Speed's a celebrity. People are interested in what happens to him. Especially when something this tragic occurs," Pops said. "I'll deal with the hospital and the press later. For now, I'm going to have another cup of coffee before I get ready to... " He stopped in mid-sentence as an anguished wail came from another part of the house. "What the...?"

He ran down the hall to his bedroom and found Mom Racer crying as she stared at the television. "Speed... No, it can't be!" she sobbed.

Pops took hold of her shoulders. "Honey, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I put on the TV like I do every morning... and the news is reporting that Speed is dead!" she exclaimed through her tears.

"What!"

His attention was drawn to the television where one of news anchors was speaking. "...the reigning Formula One champion passed away last evening after sustaining grave injuries in yesterday's horrific crash." Footage of the crash was shown with a stock photo of Speed in the left hand corner. "The racing world mourns Speed's passing. His death will be a major blow to a sport that his good lucks and natural charm helped bring into the homes of America's families. We will have an in-depth look at Speed's life this evening after the eleven o'clock news." The anchor sighed. "It's a very sad day for the racing world."

The other anchor shook her head solemnly. "It's a very sad day for all of us, Chuck. The Racer family hasn't come forth with any comments as of yet, nor have they announced funeral arrangements."

Pops became enraged. "There are no funeral arrangements because Speed's not dead!"

Mom stared at him. "He's alive? But why would the news reporter say he was dead?" She sat down heavily on the bed. "I don't understand..."

"I'd like to know where those idiots got their information from!" Pops roared. He grabbed the phone book from the nightstand and found the number for the television station. Still seething, he called them. "Hello? Who the hell told you that Speed Racer was dead?... Hold on? First the hospital, now you. I'm tired of holding on, damn it!" He waited while the program director was put on the line. "Yes?... A reliable source?...Well, your reliable source is wrong! ... Yes, I'm sure... Because I'm his father, you idiot!... Well, next time you triple-check your sources." For the second time that morning he slammed the phone down. "Jackasses, the whole lot of them are jackasses!"

At this point Sparky and Trixie, who had bolted down the stairs at Mom's pained cry, were standing in the doorway. "Pops, I think we might need to call a press conference," the mechanic suggested.

"I think you're right," a now-calmed Pops agreed. "Let's head over to the hospital and I'll make arrangements to do just that."

\---

The family arrived at the ICU. They were greeted by the night nurse who was just finishing up her shift. "Morning folks," she said wearily realizing that she had started her duty just before the Racers had left last evening.

"How is he?" Mom asked anxiously.

"The same. He had an uneventful night," she replied.

"And that's a good thing, right?" Pops asked.

"Yes, for someone in as grave a condition as your son."

"May we see him?" Mom asked.

"Sure, Mrs. Racer. But only two at a time for fifteen minutes a visit."

Pops turned to Mom. "We'll go in first, then Trixie and Sparky can see him." She nodded and took hold of Pops hand; wanting so much to see Speed, but also dreading it.

"Oh, Mr. & Mrs. Racer? I just wanted to let you know that your son was here to visit Gregory last night," the nurse said.

Mom stopped short. "Our son? Spritle? He's only a child and he left with us."

"No, not a child. This man was in his mid to late twenties."

Mom and Pops exchanged glances. "Rex?" the Racer patriarch asked.

"Yes, that was his name. I think he was sorry that he missed seeing you."

"Rex was here... " Mom whispered; her hand on her heart. "My lost son was here to see his brother." She broke into a smile. "He was here..."

Pops squeezed her hand. "He'll be back, I'm sure if it. Now, let's go see Speed."

\---

"He looks worse today than he did yesterday," Pops said.

It was true. Speed's face was now almost a deep shade of purple. The area around his swollen eyes was nearly black. He was still breathing with the aid of a ventilator. The heart monitor beeped steadily, which comforted his mother somewhat. "He's a strong boy; he's going to make it," she said. She continued to assess him, noting every injury and piece of equipment that was being used to keep him alive.

"Excuse me," she said to the nurse who had just arrived to take the patients' vitals, "Why is there blood in Speed's catheter bag?"

"Your son sustained damage to his right kidney," the nurse explained.

"We weren't told anything about this. Why weren't we told that Speed has kidney damage?" Mom asked.

"I'm not sure, Mrs. Racer. Dr. Cardiovas will doing rounds at about nine; you can ask him any questions you might have then."

"Oh you bet we will!" Mom said; anger coloring her normally tranquil voice. "I want to know every aspect of my child's injuries."

"Shhh, calm down," Pops said in a soothingvoice. "I'm sure we'll get the answers to all our questions from the doctor."

"We'd better. We're his parents and we have the right to know everything about his case." She gazed down at her unconscious son. "I can't believe how much it pains me to see him lying here. It's so unfair; he has his whole life ahead of him. Now that life has been changed forever."

Pops placed his hand on hers. "He's a strong boy and stubborn as a mule. You know he's going to push himself to the limit to get better."

"He has to survive his injuries first," she said. "And he will, I know it."

Pops smiled at her sadly. _"She should only know how close he still is to death."_

Mom leaned over the side of his bed. "Good morning, baby. Mommy's here." She squeezed his hand, hoping against hope for some reaction from him. He was too heavily sedated to feel anything. "I wonder how long they're going to keep him under sedation?" Mom wondered. "I know it's best because of the pain he'd be in. It's just so hard to stand here and touch him and have no reaction."

"The doctors know what they're doing. They'll take him off the drugs when the feel the time is right."

"I want him to wake up, but I don't want to see him in pain. But he's going to be in pain, no matter what. You heard Dr. Cardiovas, months of therapy and he'll need more surgery on his leg, nose and who knows what else." She sighed. "My poor baby."

Pops put his arm around her. "We'll be here for him and help him get through everything."

"Always."

The two stood vigil over the bed. Mom stroked Speed's hand and talked softly to him. Pops was still too consumed with guilt to do much more than keep a strong arm around his wife.

The time went by too fast. Mom glanced at the door and saw the nurse standing with Trixie and Sparky. "It's their turn," she said. With one more squeeze of Speed's hand she left with Pops walking along side her.

At the doorway Mom turned to Trixie. "Be strong," she whispered to the younger woman.

Trixie took hold of Sparky's hand as they slowly walked over to Speed's bedside. She gasped when she saw him. "Dear God, his face... They told me he looked bad, but I didn't even imagine it to be like this." She tried desperately to hold back her tears, but the effort was fruitless. "Sparky, I can't believe it's him!"

"I know," he said in a soft voice. "That crash really did a number on him."

Trixie assessed his facial injuries. _"His nose, they can fix that, his eye sockets, too._ " She noted the stitched cut that ran length-wise across his forehead and another that curved from below his right ear to about a half-inch into his cheek. _"Those aren't so bad. His hair will cover most of them. He could even have plastic surgery if he wants. If he wants... He doesn't have to have it, though. Whatever he decides, it will be fine with me. I just realized how much I love him, I don't care how he looks. He could stay this way and it wouldn't make a difference to me."_ She turned to Sparky. "It doesn't matter how he looks because I love him. I love him more than I ever could imagine loving someone."

Sparky smiled. "Geez, I could've told you that."

"It shows that much, huh?"

"Well, yeah. And you want to know something? I think he loves you, too."

"His mother said the same thing... Sparky, would you mind giving me a few minutes alone with him? I know he probably can't hear me but I need to talk to him."

"Sure. I can come back later."

"Thanks," she said to his retreating form.

She took hold of Speeds limp hand and spoke softly, "Oh Speed... You look so weak, so vulnerable. You've always been here for me; protected me from harm...All those times I got myself into trouble, you'd be right there to save me. Now, you're here... hurt so bad. I've got to be the strong one now. I'll be here for you, for as long as it takes..." She closed her eyes. "I love you Speed; I always have. From the very first time I saw you I knew you were the only man for me. Don't leave me... I don't think I could bear living without you..." The tears fell freely as she sat next to his bed praying that he would recover.

A gentle hand on her shoulder startled her. It was the kind nurse from the ER. "How are you doing, honey?" she asked.

"Okay... " Trixie sniffled; her eyes switching between the nurse and Speed. "I can't stand seeing him like this. He's so still. I don't think I've seen any movement from him."

"They've got him on some pretty powerful stuff. It's for the best though. You wouldn't want him to be in pain."

"No, never. I love him so much... " Her words trailed off.

"He's a lucky guy to have such a dedicated woman by his side," the nurse remarked.

A smile slowly crept across Trixie's face. "Thanks, Nurse... " She read the ID tag. "... Daniels."

"Call me Julie," she said.

"Okay Julie. And you can call me Trixie," the younger woman said; suddenly feeling much better.

"Your boyfriend is very strong-willed young man. He's putting up one heck of a fight."

Trixie nodded. "He's always been real stubborn and for once I'm glad about that."

"Well, sweetie, you hang in there. I'll try to come by when I get the chance to check on him." She reached down and pushed a stray hair off Speed's forehead. "We'll get him through this, Trixie."

"Thank you."

Julie squeezed her hand. "I'll see you later."

Trixie watched as she left, tears again filling her eyes. _"She showed up at just the right time. It's like she knew I needed to hear something encouraging..."_

Sparky returned just as the nurse had departed. "Who was that?" he asked.

"An angel," Trixie whispered in wonder.

\---

Mom, Pops, Trixie and Sparky sat in a Dr. Cardiovas' office. He had examined Speed during rounds and made some time to speak with the family while the nurses tended to Speed's needs. "I know you have questions; I'll answer any of those that I can," he said.

Speed's mother spoke first. "When I went to see Speed before there was blood in his catheter bag. The nurse said it was because he has damage to his right kidney. We weren't told about this. Why?"

The doctor sighed. "We didn't know about the kidney damage until last night. Mrs. Racer, you have to understand that when your son arrived he was very severely injured. At that time we had to do everything we could to save his life. We couldn't do a full examination of him because we needed to repair the most critical damage first, which were his lungs and leg. Because of the type of injuries he incurred, we did check his spleen and weren't surprised to find it ruptured."

"Okay, I understand that. Will he have to have the kidney removed?"

"It's too soon to tell," the doctor replied. "Right now it's functioning in a very limited way. We're taking a wait and see approach with it, as Speed certainly could not withstand any more surgery at this point. I will keep you apprised of the situation."

Next, it was Trixie's turn. "How long will he remain unconscious?"

"We'll be keeping him under heavy sedation for about another twenty-four hours. After that, we'll begin to decrease the medication. He probably won't be fully awake, though, for another four days or so. When he does regain consciousness, he'll most likely be in quite a bit of discomfort. He'll also be very weak and will sleep most of the time. As I said yesterday, his recovery will be slow and painful. It will be a strain on all of you."

"We can handle it," Mom said. "We'll be here for him and give him our strength." She smiled in Trixie's direction, the younger woman nodded.

"I'm sure you will, you seem to be a very strong family," Cardiovas noted.

"We are."

"I don't know if you watched the news," Pops interjected, "but they were reporting this morning that Speed was dead. His poor mother was nearly in hysterics when she heard that."

"I'm sorry; I didn't know anything about it. Perhaps we could release a statement to the press," Cardiovas said.

Pops nodded. "That's a good idea. Actually, I'd like to take it a step further and have a press conference. Maybe have you give a summary of Speed's injuries. That might appease them, at least for a while."

The doctor smiled. "I think we could arrange it."

"Thanks, Doc." Pops stuck out his hand; Cardiovas shook it. "If the nurses are finished with our son, we're going to go back to see him."

\---

The hospital's public relations department set up a press conference for two o'clock. Pops was amazed at Cardiovas' calm demeanor when confronted with the demanding press. The doctor took his time explaining Speed's injuries and the prognosis for recovery. The Racer patriarch was relieved when it was over.

The rest of the day the four traded visits along with Henry who spent the afternoon with them until it was time for him to leave to pick up Spritle. The boy decided he'd rather go to school than the amusement park because he didn't want to have fun while his brother was so ill. There was no change in Speed, but it comforted the family to be with him as much as they could. By eight that evening they were all tired and hungry. "Let's call it a night so we can be here first thing tomorrow." Pops said.

Mom Racer's eyes were trained on the hallway that led to her son's room. She didn't want to leave him, but had resigned herself to the fact that she had no choice. "Yes, I think that's a wise idea."

Trixie nodded. "Pops would you mind dropping me off at the track? I have to get my car."

"Me, too," Sparky said.

Trixie felt a sense of relief; she had forgotten that Sparky needed to get his vehicle, too. _"At least I won't have to face the crash scene alone."_  
  
\---

Sparky and Trixie watched Mom and Pops Racer drive off. The atmosphere at the dark, lonely track was heavy and deadly quiet. "This place is kinda spooky at night," the mechanic said looking around.

"Uh huh." The young woman made no move towards her car, even though Sparky had gotten in his.

"Well... I guess I'll see you tomorrow," he said. Trixie didn't respond. "Are you all right?"

She returned from whatever world she had been in. "Yes. I just need to do a bit of thinking. You don't have to worry about leaving me, I'll be fine."

"Okay, just please go home soon and get some rest." He turned the key in the ignition. "See you in the morning."

Trixie listened as the sound of his car engine faded. She was now alone. She looked around the deserted track. Her eyes focused on the spot where Speed had the wreck. All traces of debris were gone. "It's like it never happened." Although, proof that it had was lying in a hospital bed, desperately clinging to life.

Her tears started again as she remembered the scene yesterday. The pure joy on Speed's face. The thrill of his kiss and the tingles it sent through her body. Then, there was the anticipation of the evening to come. _"Oh Speed... What would have happened if you hadn't crashed?"_ She didn't even want to think about going home to her apartment where she'd had candles all ready to be lit and a big sign that said, **"Congratulations Speed!"** Then there was the sexy outfit she was going to wear. Trixie wondered when, or if, he'd ever get to see her wear it. _"You need to get well, Speed, so we can be together."_


	7. Forty-Eight Hours

 

Mom Racer hummed as she scrambled a batch of eggs. The coffee had been made and was ready for someone to take the first cup. The sun was shining; she was sure it was going to be a magnificent day.

"Well, you're up early," Pops commented as he poured coffee into a large mug.

His wife grinned. "It's going to be a beautiful day, I can tell."

"Why are you in such a good mood?" Pops asked wondering how his wife could be so chipper when their son still lie gravely injured in the ICU.

"Don't you know why?" Mom asked. Pops shook his head. "Last night Speed hit the forty-eight hour mark. Dr. Cardiovas said that the first forty-eight hours are critical and that if Speed survived them the outlook for his recovery would increase dramatically. I just know he's going to get better now."

Her husband smiled as he remembered the doctor's words. "Let's not get our hopes up too high, honey. Although you do have me thinking ahead to when Speed wakes up," he said. "For the first time I'm thinking when, not if."

Mom nodded. "I think maybe after we leave the hospital later we should pick up Spritle. I really miss him and I'm sure he's getting on poor Henry's last nerve. You know how that boy can be, especially when Chim-Chim gets mixed up in mischief with him."

"Good idea. I miss the little fella, too." While he was waiting for his breakfast, the phone rang. "I'll get it. It's probably Henry checking in." Pops picked up the receiver and spoke into it. "Hello... Yes, this is Mr. Racer... What?... No... Oh my God..." His face suddenly turned ashen. "Yes, we can get there right away... Thank you." The phone felt like it weighed a ton as he placed it on the hook.

Mom stared at him; the color gone from her face. "Speed?"

"Yes. They said he took a turn for the worse last night. We need to get to the hospital right away."

"No, that can't be..." She shook her head "It's been over forty-eight hours! He's supposed to get better, not worse!" She burst into tears as she took the skillet and threw it against the wall. "He lied! The doctor lied! He said after forty-eight hours Speed's chances were good. But now they're saying that my baby is going to die!"

"Shhhh..." Pops held her in his arms. "You need to stay calm. He's still alive which means he still has a chance."

“You're right." She inhaled deeply and slowly let out a calming breath. "I think we need to call Trixie and Sparky. I'm sure they'll want to be there for him. And Henry... Just tell him not to say anything to Spritle."

"I'll do that, dear. You go get dressed." He watched her as she got ready to visit, perhaps for the last time, their middle child in the hospital.

\---

Mom, Pops, Trixie and Sparky gathered by the nurses' station in the ICU. They had been told to wait for Dr. Cardiovas.

"Why are they doing this? Speed is dying and they're making us wait," Trixie said the distress evident in her voice.

"It sure doesn't make sense," Sparky agreed. He glanced at Mom who was being held close by Pops. The poor woman looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The mechanic breathed a sigh of relief when Dr. Cardiovas finally showed up.

"Hello folks. Sorry I had to keep you waiting. I was just examining Speed," the doctor said.

"And... how is he?" Mom asked fearfully.

The doctor shook his head. "Not good. He's got a systemic infection. The infection caused his temperature to spike to one-hundred-five. He is in kidney failure; there has been no output from them since last evening. His body is shutting itself down. We're doing everything we can to try to save him. The strongest antibiotics available are being given to him; they don't seem to be helping."

"I don't understand this," Mom said her as she tried to keep her voice from rising in anger. "You told us that after forty-eight hours that there was a very good chance that he'd get better. Why did you lie to us?"

Dr. Cardiovas sighed; he knew this was going to happen. "Mrs. Racer, the reason I said that is that in the vast majority of cases it's true. After the first forty-eight hours pass, most of the times the patient shows signs of recovery. Speed's condition was grave right from the start. Yet, I saw this incredible strength of will coming from him. I was hoping that as he continued to stabilize, he would improve. As of early last evening there was a bit of improvement, which was encouraging. Then later that night the infection set in and his condition started to deteriorate. Sepsis sometimes happens when a patient has suffered the type injuries your son has. As I said, we are doing everything possible to lower his fever and rid his body of the infection. But, there is only so much we can do."

"I know," Mom said, "I guess I read too much into what you said and took at as gospel. The forty-eight hour mark was magical to me. I had this fantasy that we'd come to see him today, he'd wake up and in a few days go home. It was foolish idea."

"You're his mother," Cardiovas said softly, "it's natural that you'd think that way."

"Speed's a strong boy," Pops said. "He won't go down without a fight."

"Yes he is strong. But, his body can only take so much before it finally gives out." The physicians mouth was set firm, but the sadness in his eyes was obvious. "I'm truly sorry."

"So are we," Pops said. "I can't even believe any of this is happening..."

Cardiovas nodded solemnly. "I've informed the nurses that under these circumstances regular ICU visitor regulations do not apply. You're all free to spend as much time with Speed as you wish."

"Thank you, Doctor," Mom said. "I'm grateful to you and the staff for all you've done for my son."

\---

The group stood vigil over Speed's bed. The young man's face was still swollen and was now dripping with sweat. Everyone once in a while he would shiver as the fever and infection ravaged his already weakened body.

"He's so warm," Mom said as she stroked his hand. "My poor baby, I hate to see him suffering like this."

"They're keeping him under heavy sedation, I don't think he feels anything," Pops said.

"I hope so..." his wife whispered.

"We're going to be here for a while," Sparky said, "let me see if I can get us some chairs." He pulled over one that had been next to the empty bed and went out into the hall to see if he could find three more.

"Sit honey," Pops gently pulled his wife down on the chair.

She gazed down at Speed, willing him to stay alive. "Baby, you have so much to live for... "

 _"This can't be happening,"_ Trixie thought. _"He's always been so strong, a fighter. He was going to make it; I was sure of it. Now they said he's most likely going to die without ever waking up. I'll never get the chance to tell him how much I love him."_

Sparky came back into the room dragging three chairs. "The folks here are too kind. Can you believe two of these chairs belong to the nurses' station?"

"Everyone here has gone beyond expectations," Trixie said as she lowered herself into one of the chairs. "They're taking such good care of Speed. I just wish they could do more to save him."

"It's out of their hands now," Mom said as she lightly stroked Speed's hand. "Our prayers are what he needs."

Pops nodded although his overwhelming guilt left him feeling so helpless that he couldn't even bring himself to pray. _"Speed's death will be on my conscience for the rest of my life. But even that won't be punishment enough for what I did to him."_

_\---_

Nearly two hours had passed since the family arrived at the hospital. Speed's condition remained the same, which gave them a small glimmer of hope. Henry Racer had joined them. It was especially hard on him as seeing Speed lying so close to death brought back memories of his son, Hank. _"He's too young for this to be happening to him,"_ Henry thought. _"Hank was too young..."_ He cast his eyes on his distraught brother and sister-in-law. _"I've got to be there for them, just as they were for me when I lost Hank."_

Pops rose from his seat. "I need to get a cup of coffee and stretch my legs a bit. You want to take a walk with me?"

Mom shook her head. "I can't leave him. Every second we spend with him is precious now." She patted her eyes with a tissue. "Who knows how much time he has left?" Her hand went to her mouth as she thought of something. "No open casket," she whispered.

"What?" Pops asked.

"I said we can't have an open casket. Not with how Speed looks."

"Why are you even talking about this? Speed's still alive."

"I know that. But we need to prepare ourselves for the worst. You heard what the doctor said earlier." She paused again to wipe away the tears. "We need to find a nice picture of him, several pictures. I want people to remember how he looked before... before all this happened. There are going to be so many people who will want to pay their respects. Our family, his friends, fellow drivers. And the fans! What will we do about them? Oh, the news services, we'll have to make some sort of announcement. We can get someone to write something for them, can't we?"

Pops was surprised at practical his wife was being. It was as if she was attempting to distance herself from the situation. "Okay, honey, we can do that if you want." He held her close and felt her body shaking. It was all a front, he realized. She was ready to break down at any moment. _"Coffee can wait,"_ he thought as he again sat by her side, his arm around her.

As Trixie watched the two, she could feel her nerves unraveling. She had to get out of there before she completely fell apart. "I'll be back in a few minutes," she mumbled as she rose and quickly left the room. She walked down the hall where a large window looked out over the parking lot. _"I can't believe that in a few hours the person I love more than anyone else on earth will be gone..."_ Tears welled up in her eyes. A light touch on her shoulder caused her to turn. Julie Daniels regarded her with a face full of sympathy.

"Things aren't going well with him. I'm sorry," she said.

"Julie, it's so unfair! He's only twenty!" Trixie said breaking into ragged sobs. "He has his whole life ahead of him. Why? Why?"

The nurse held the crying young woman in her arms in an attempt to calm her. "We don't know the reasons why these things happen, Trixie."

"I know and that's what makes it worse." She pulled away and sniffled. "I love him, Julie. I love him so much that I've prayed to God to let me switch places with him."

"I know how that kind of love feels," Julie said sadly. "Trixie, you sound so much like me."

"Like you?" the younger woman asked.

The nurse sighed. "Yes. My husband James was a police officer. Seven years ago he and his partner chased a perp into an abandoned warehouse. The guy had three buddies there waiting for them. James and his partner were ambushed. Both of them were shot, James in the head and chest. His partner had only superficial leg wounds. My James..." she said, "he was a fighter, like Speed. But it was a losing battle. He was in a coma. I was a med student at the time and I already knew there was little hope for his survival. There was no brain activity. The machines were keeping him alive, but the man I loved was dead. I prayed those first days for a way to go back in time and stop him from ever going into that building. I knew it was impossible. As impossible as my other wish to have it be me lying in that bed instead of him. Anything to keep him from dying."

"I'm so sorry," Trixie said.

"If it wasn't for our son, I don't think I'd have been able to go on." Julie forced a smile. "TJ's the light of my life. He doesn't have any memories of his father; he was only two when James died... Yet, he's so much like his daddy, it's eerie."

"Do you have a picture of your son?"

Julie smiled as she reached into the collar of her blouse and lifted out a gold locket attached to a chain. She opened the locket which held a picture in each heart-shaped side. The photo on the left showed a dark-skinned little boy with bright brown eyes and a smile that could melt even the hardest of hearts. "He's adorable," Trixie said. The nurse nodded and pointed to the photo on the right side. An older version of the boy stared back at her. The expression of his face was serious, yet even from the picture; Trixie could sense playfulness in his eyes. "Your husband was very handsome."

"Yes." Julie sighed. "Handsomest man I've ever met. And funny. He could make me laugh without even saying anything." She sighed again. "I miss him so much."

"I wish I could have met him... _"_ It was now her turn to comfort her new friend. "I think James would be proud of you for being so strong and raising such a wonderful little boy."

"Thanks," Julie said, patting her arm. "Let's go back to Speed's room; I'd like to see him."

\---

The family sat in silence as Julie assessed Speed. She read his chart, noting the severity of his injuries, amazed that he was still alive. _"Trixie is right, he certainly is a fighter,"_ she thought. _"But how much longer can he fight before he finally has to admit defeat?"_ She gently moved a lock of hair off his forehead being careful to avoid the stitched cut running across it.

"What do you think, Julie?" Trixie asked.

"I have to be honest with you, sweetie, it doesn't look good. I think it's amazing he's even made it this far. His injuries, they're all encompassing. Just about every part of his body has been compromised."

Trixie sighed. "Yeah, I guess I knew you were going to say that. I just wish we could have some glimmer of hope."

Julie gently touched her shoulder and then faced the rest of the family. "As long as he's alive, there's always hope."

Mom smiled. "Thank you for reminding us of that." She embraced the nurse. "You truly are an angel sent from heaven."

She shook her head. "No, ma'am, I'm just a nurse who tries to look on the positive side of things."

"Lord knows we can use some positivity," Pops remarked.

Julie nodded before reaching down to down to check Speed's catheter bag. A frown crossed her face. "Hmmm… I think maybe this needs to be checked out."

"What's wrong?" Mom asked.

"I'm not sure anything is wrong. Excuse me…" She went out in the hall and quickly returned with a nurse. They spoke in whispers. Once in a while one of them would nod.

" _What is going on?"_ Trixie wondered. _"Why are they being so secretive?"_

Her concerned deepened when Dr. Cardiovas appeared. "I got your message; I'm due in surgery in less than an hour. What's the problem?"

The ICU nurse showed him Speed's chart and then showed him the catheter bag. Again, they spoke in hushed whispers. After what seemed like an eternity Cardiovas addressed the group. "Folks, I'm going to need you to leave the room for a few minutes."

"No! I can't leave him," Mom cried. "He needs me."

"It will only take a few minutes. I promise I'll come get you the minute we're finished," the doctor said.

"But what if he dies and we're not with him?" Mom once again was on the verge of hysteria. "Every second we have with him is precious. He needs to be with his family. I don't want him to die among strangers!"

"Let the doctor do his job," Pops said as he gently led Mom away from their son. She glanced back as the nurses pulled the curtain around Speed's bed.

"I don't understand why we can't be with him," Mom said. "He's my child… He's dying and they won't even let me stay with him!" She paced across the waiting room; her nerves frazzled. Pops took hold of her arm; she shook him off. "Just leave me, please…" With a great sigh, he complied.

Trixie stood between Sparky and Henry, her eyes glued to the hallway that led to Speed's room. _"They're going to come out and tell us he's dead, I know it!"_ She tried to shake that horrid thought from her mind but couldn't.

Again, several lifetimes seemed to pass while they waited. After fifteen minutes, the doctor and nurses approached them.

"Doctor, how… how is my boy?" Pops asked apprehensively.

"Well," Cardiovas said; a smile creeping over his normally stern face. "It would seem that Speed has won this battle."

"What?" Pops was incredulous. "You mean he's not going to die?"

"From this infection, it would seem not. His temperature has dropped to ninety-nine point two and, more importantly, there has been output from his kidneys. He's going to make it past those forty-eight hours, folks."

Trixie hugged Julie as Mom burst into tears. "Oh thank you, thank you, dear God..." She gazed at the physician. "And you, Dr. Cardiovas, thank you so much." She took his hand in both of hers. "Bless you for saving my son."

His smiled deepened and a light blush came over his tanned face. "You're welcome, but I think there might have been a higher power at work, plus Speed's incredible will to live."

Pops chuckled. "He's stubborn, just like his old man. A regular chip off the old blockhead." The group laughed.

"If you want to know something else," the doctor said. "I think he's going to make it."


	8. Awakening

Trixie sat alongside Speed's bed holding his hand. As usual, it lie limp and motionless in hers. She sighed as she gazed at his unconscious form. It was the beginning of the fifth day since the crash; he had been taken off the ventilator and the packing had been removed from his nose. The sedatives that steadily dripped via IV had been reduced. Every once in a while he would move his head slightly. The young woman took this as a sign that he would soon awaken.

It was early; visiting hours wouldn't start for another twenty minutes. Trixie had been unable to sleep so she had decided to get an early start to her day. She was delighted to find the hospital cafeteria open. After a light breakfast consisting of fresh fruit and a cup of coffee she figured she might as well go to the ICU waiting area until visiting hours started. The desk nurse, Karen, waved her on through. "It makes no sense for you to just sit around," she informed her with a smile. "By the way, he had a good night." Trixie thanked her, pleased that Speed seemed to be past the crisis point.

So now she sat, watching him and waiting for him to wake up. " _The swelling's gone down so much the past couple of days,"_ she thought as she lightly brushed her hands over his face and noted how smooth his cheeks were, any facial stubble had been shaved off. His hair had also been washed. _"Those nurses really do care for their patients."_ There was movement under the dark-lashed eyelids. _"I think he's having a dream. Does that mean he really is going to wake up soon?_ " The idea excited her, although she knew it could be hours before he opened his eyes. She turned away, hating to admit that she was becoming restless. _"Maybe I should have gotten the paper this morning. I have no idea what's even going on in the world."_ So much time had been spent at the hospital that the _"real world"_ had nearly ceased to exist.

She snapped back to reality when she heard a soft moan. "Speed?" she said as she leaned over the motionless body of her boyfriend. She still had a grip on his hand, which now tightened around hers. A smiled crossed her face. At last, he was waking up.

Speed groaned. It felt as if there was a ten ton weight on his chest; each breath caused a searing pain throughout his body. His eyes felt heavy and it was difficult to open them. Somebody was holding his hand and it gave him some comfort.

"You're finally awake," said Trixie's soft, soothing voice.

He managed to open his eyes a little. "Trix..." he whispered. His throat was very sore and dry and it hurt to speak.

She gazed down at him; his eyes were glassy and blood shot. Yet they never looked more beautiful to her. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Tired and...thirsty...Need something...to drink..."

"Shhhh...Don't talk..." She made a move towards the pitcher of water on his nightstand and stopped in mid-motion. _"I should check with someone to see if it's all right to give him water."_ Using her free hand, she clicked the buzzer for the nurse.

Speed's thinking was fuzzy. He glanced around the room, confused. Why was he in the hospital? How long had he been here? "What...happened to...me?"

"You crashed during a race," Trixie said.

Too fatigued to speak, he just nodded and closed his eyes.

Nurse Karen entered the room in response to the call. "Is there something you need?"

"Speed's awake," Trixie replied. "He's thirsty."

"I'll be right back." The nurse left the room and returned moments later with a large, covered metal container. "There are ice chips in here." She removed one from the bucket and rubbed Speed's lips with it. He licked the cool water from them. "Yes, that's right. Open your mouth." He complied and she then placed the ice chip on his tongue. A tiny smiled crossed his face. "These will help quench his thirst."

"Thank you. Do you need to examine him or anything?"

"I'm going to see if I can get Dr. Cardiovas or one of the other doctors on the floor to take a look at him," the nurse said as she wrote something on his chart. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Trixie nodded her thanks. "Speed, I'm so glad you're finally awake. I've been worried sick that I'd never get to talk to you again."

"I'd never...leave...you..." he whispered.

"You very nearly did," she said softly. "When I first saw you lying here... I couldn't bear to even look at you, you were hurt so bad."

"I'm that...messed up, huh?"

"A little. But I'm just so happy to see you awake and hear your voice." Tears fell from her eyes. "I was very afraid I was going to lose you."

"Aw... don't... cry, Trixie." He wanted to reach up to wipe the tears away but knew he didn't have the strength. "You know... how...upset I get...when you...cry."

She again took hold of his hand; brought it to her mouth and kissed it. "I missed you."

He blinked as his eyes became heavy. "I'm... glad...you're...here..." His voice by now was barely audible. Just being awake for that short amount of time had exhausted him. "So tired..." he said; feeling an urgent need for sleep.

Trixie squeezed his hand. "You get some rest, I'll be back later."

"Don't...leave me...stay...until...I...fall asleep..."

"You know I will."

He smiled sweetly. "I...love you..."

Tears stung her eyes. "I love you, too; I have from the very first moment I saw you." She held his hand tight and could feel his grip loosen as he fell into a deep sleep.

Karen returned with one of the phycicians from the ICU. "He fell back to sleep," Trixie said.

"That's to be expected, he's going to need a lot of rest," the doctor told her. "Would you mind leaving the room for a few minutes? I'd like to examine Gregory."

Trixie nodded. "Sure. Uh...Where's Dr. Cardiovas?"

"Surgery. Don't worry; I'm well acquainted with Gregory's case."

"Speed."

"Excuse me?"

"Speed, that's what everyone calls him," Trixie said. "Just so you know." She wondered just how well he really knew Speed's case when he didn't even know what his nickname was.

"Thanks," the doctor said as Trixie left the room. He rubbed his chin as recognition hit him. "Gregory Racer... Speed Racer. This kid in the bed is Speed Racer? I didn't even recognize him."

"Geez Doc," Karen said. "Where have you been hiding? The hospital's been buzzing about him since he was first admitted. You've got to get out of your office more often."

\---

Trixie walked down the hall which led the way out of the ICU. She decided to head back to the cafeteria, realizing that she needed a cup of coffee. It was going to be another long day. Although for the first time since the crash, it would be a happy one. _"Speed's awake...and he told me he loved me!"_ Feeling giddy, there was a huge grin on her face as she exited the doors to the main hallway. So lost in her own world was she, that she nearly bumped into Mom and Pops who were heading in to see Speed.

"Trixie!" Mom exclaimed. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I couldn't sleep, so I decided I might as well get a start to the day."

Pops noted the smile on her face. "You seem to be in a good mood."

"I am. Speed woke up!" she said; her grin widening.

"He what?" Mom said. "Why didn't anybody call us?"

"It just happened a few minutes ago."

"How is he? Is he in any pain? Did he know who you were?" she asked.

"He didn't seem to be in pain. They still have him pretty drugged up so that might be why. Or else maybe he didn't want to say anything to upset me. You know how he is. He was really, really weak and thirsty. Nurse Karen gave him some ice chips to suck on. He knew who I was but seemed very confused about what happened. I didn't tell him the details because I think it might have been too much for him to handle. He's was so tired that he couldn't stay awake more than a few minutes."

"Did he say anything else? Did he ask for us?" Mom inquired.

"No, he didn't say anything else." She felt funny telling them about Speed professing his love for her, so she didn't mention it. "I'm sorry, but like I said he wasn't awake very long."

"That's okay, dear. Just knowing he was awake is enough to make me happy." She smiled as tears filled her eyes. She grabbed hold of Pops' hand. "Come on, let's go see our son!"

Trixie smiled as she watched them walk away. She noticed that there was a spring in their steps that she hadn't seen in almost a week. "I think I'll have that cup of coffee and then go back to see Speed. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll be awake again."

As she walked down the hall she saw Julie Daniels heading her way. "Trixie!" the pretty young nurse exclaimed, "How are you?"

Trixie practically ran up to her. "I'm doing great! And guess what? Speed woke up!"

"I heard!" The nurse laughed as Trixie's eyes widened in surprise that she already knew. "Word travels fast amongst the gossip circles in a hospital."

"Oh." Trixie chuckled. "Well, I bet you there's one thing the gossips didn't tell you." Julie raised her right eyebrow. "He told me he loved me."

"Really? Oh, that's wonderful!"

Trixie nodded. "I just hope it wasn't the drugs making him say it."

The nurse said, "The medication he's on is like truth serum. If he said it, he meant it. So even if he denies it later on, you'll know he was telling the truth."

"I'll store that information for future reference," Trixie noted with a sly grin. It felt so good to be able to smile again.

\---

Mom and Pops stood by Speed's bedside. The young racer was very restless. Obviously in pain, he moaned as his eyes slowly fluttered open. He felt the gentle touch of his mother's hand in his. His lips were dry; his throat burned with thirst. "Water..." he whispered.

His mother reached into the bucket; removed an ice chip and rubbed it on his lips. "That feel better, baby?"

He nodded as the water trickled into his parched mouth.

She bent over and kissed his forehead. "How are you feeling, honey?"

He licked the moisture from his lips and spoke softly, "Hurts...when...I...breathe..."

"You've got some pretty bad injuries there, sport," Pops said. "I'll see if the nurse can give you something stronger for the pain, okay?"

"Thanks..." He forced a smile. "Mom...where's Trixie?"

"She stepped out for a bit. You want me to tell her something?"

"Yes...tell her...I need...to...see her...I...I...want...her with...me..."

"She'll be back soon enough, sweetie," his mother told him. "Now, why don't you close your eyes and get some rest."

"Can't...hurts too...much..."

The beeps on the heart monitor came closer together as his heart rate increased. Mom noted, with alarm, that he was becoming distressed. "Please baby, calm down. I know it hurts, but try to relax." She wondered if he had felt pain earlier, the first time he woke up. " _Maybe he did and like Trixie said he didn't want to worry her."_ Of course being his mother, there was no way he could hide how he was feeling from her. She gazed down, her heart breaking for him as he squeezed his eyes shut, teardrops in their corners. She gently stroked his hair and spoke in a soothing voice. "Relax, baby... relax."

Pops returned with Dr. Cardiovas. He pulled Mom over to the side. "They're going to put Speed on a morphine drip," he said.

Mom's eyes widened. "They're going to give my baby MORPHINE? No! It's addictive and dangerous." She angrily strode over to Speed's attending physician. "What's this about giving my child morphine?"

"A morphine drip, Mrs. Racer. It's the best way to ease your son's pain."

Speed's mother was outraged. "It's an addictive substance! I will not stand idly by while you turn my son into a drug addict!"

"Dear, calm down," Pops said as he lightly took hold of her arm, "the doctor knows what he's doing."

His wife shook him off. "He does? Then why is he going to pump my son full of a drug which could end up killing him?"

"Mrs. Racer, the morphine drip is not continuous. Speed will have a button he can press for relief. Every ten minutes the drug will be available to him, if he needs it. We don't plan on keeping him on it for more than two or three days, until the pain is manageable."

"Oh and you really think a few days will make a difference? Look at the condition he's in! He's in agony from his injuries. The poor boy can hardly take a breath without feeling pain."

"Yeah, Doc," Pops said, "every breath is an effort for him. Poor kid has tears in his eyes it hurts him so much."

The doctor nodded. "Yes, that is why we're giving him the morphine. Mr. Racer, Speed's ribs were shattered in the crash. If you've ever had broken ribs, you know how much that can hurt."

"I used to be a wrestler," Pops told him, "I know all about broken ribs. Damn, it's the worst kind of pain!"

"Well, just imagine that ten-fold. The pain Speed is in right now is indescribable. We also don't know if he can feel anything in his leg. Remember that besides the main injury to it, he has severe burns. I'm also concerned about his eye sockets. He might be feeling pain from those injuries, too."

Mom regarded her son. His eyes were squeezed shut and tears fell from them. It was obvious the amount of discomfort he was in unbearable. " _Baby, I wish I could do something to make you feel better..."_ In an attempt to comfort him she held his hand. Immediately she was in a death grip as Speed fought the pain. She turned her attention back to the doctor and her husband. "I can't stand to see him like this. Do whatever it takes to take his pain away."

Cardiovas nodded as he motioned for the couple to move away. He closed the curtain around the bed and a few minutes later he reopened it. "I think you'll notice a big change in Speed soon."

They watched as the nurse placed a button, which was attached to a long wire, in his left hand. "Press that when you feel pain." Speed stared up at her, not quite sure he understood. "Like this, sweetie." She pressed his thumb down on the button.

Within seconds a warm feeling flowed through his body and the pain diminished. "Thank you..." he whispered gratefully.

Mom bent over him. "Feeling better, honey?"

"Yeah..." he said with a little smile. "Much...better..." He craned his neck around. "Where's...Trixie?"

"I'll go get her," Pops said. "She's probably down at the cafeteria."

\---

Speed's bed had been lifted to a sitting position, which helped his breathing. He kept his thumb pressed on the drip button, waiting for the ten minute interval when relief from the pain would be pumped into his system. He was still groggy and confused, but he felt better than he had since he'd awoken earlier that day. Much of his confusion stemmed from the fact that he could only stay awake for a few moments and he felt like he was in a time warp. He opened his eyes to see Trixie hovering over him.

"You're awake again," she said as she stroked his hair. "Is the medicine they gave you helping?"

"Uh huh, it feels good when...I hit the button..."

Trixie smiled, noting that he seemed to be having an easier time talking. "Sparky was here a little while ago while you were asleep. He went to get something to eat and will be back in a bit."

"Uh huh..." He let go of the button. "Could you please...hold my...hand again?"

"What about the morphine? You'll feel pain if you don't use it."

He attempted a shrug. "Holding your hand...makes me...forget the pain..." He smiled as she took hold of his hand. "I love feeling...your touch."

She returned the smile. "I'd stay here all night holding your hand if they'd let me."

Speed gazed at her and smiled. "I meant what...I said...earlier...I love you..." He closed his eyes and drifted off. Trixie let go of his hand and placed the button back in it.

"Sleep well my darling. I'll be here when you wake up." She bent down and lightly kissed his lips. "I love you too, forever and ever."


	9. Seven Days, Seven Nights

Speed stared at the morphine button in his hand; he'd been trying to see how long he could handle the pain before using it. He glanced up at the clock on the wall and noted it had been over half an hour. Which meant he had also been awake that long. Much as the morphine dulled the pain, it also caused side effects. The worst of them being frightening dreams and hallucinations; one of the reasons why he now forced himself to stay awake. Another side effect was itching. _"Feels like I've got poison ivy,"_ he thought. _"And there's not even much I can do about it because I only have one hand to scratch with."_

Then there was the severe nausea he had to contend with which caused him to retch, even though there was nothing in his stomach. It was something which his doctor and nurses had been trying to rectify. Because of his broken nose he couldn't smell anything. Not that it mattered since he didn't have any appetite. The nurses tried everything they could do to get him to eat more, but he just couldn't; the very thought of food brought bile to his throat.

_"Speed," Dr. Cardiovas had said, "You know if you don't start eating more soon we're going to have to put a feeding tube in you. And because of your broken nose we'll either have to put it down your throat or through your stomach, which would require a surgical procedure. I honestly don't think, physically, your body could handle it. If we put it down your throat, you won't be able to talk."_

_Speed sighed resignedly. "Whatever...I really don't care...anymore...Do what ya...gotta do..."_

Now he sat in bed, waiting for Dr. Cardiovas to tell him when they'd insert the tube. _"It's not like I've got all that much energy to talk, anyway."_ But he had no trouble thinking and his mind, now that he was awake, had gone into over-drive. _"I wish they'd tell me how bad my injuries are. They keep changing the subject when I ask. Why won't they let me look in a mirror? I know I've got a broken nose and some stitches, so it's not like I'll be shocked if I find out I look like Frankenstein's monster or something. Besides, I really can't worry about my face when the rest of my body feels like it's being ripped apart."_ He gritted his teeth as he tried to resist pressing the button.

One thing he was glad about was that he had been moved to one of the two private cubicles in the ICU. The staff didn't have much choice after a visitor had been caught attempting to photograph him. Speed couldn't believe that anyone visiting a desperately ill loved one in the ICU would concern themselves with snapping photos of him. _"Takes all kinds..."_ he mused. With a sigh he closed his eyes.

"Hi honey," a voice whispered in his ear.

His eyes fluttered open. "Hi baby..." he whispered.

Trixie smiled. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"No...I've been sitting here waiting...for Dr. Cardiovas..."

"Oh." Her expression turned sad. "I hate that they're going to give you a feeding tube. If only you'd eat something, Speed."

"I tried...I really did." He shook his head. "I'm feeling too sick to eat."

Trixie noticed the button in his hand. "When's the last time you used the drip?"

"Over half an hour ago...Can't stand the way it makes me feel..." He tried to straighten as a cough hit him. "Been coughing...a lot. Nurse Karen said it's good...clears out my lungs. Hurts like hell, though..."

"I can imagine. I think it's doing you some good because you sound a lot better; not as out of breath as when you first woke up."

Speed nodded. "Yeah...Although I'm still feeling really tired." He sighed. "They won't tell me how bad my...injuries are. Why? Don't I have the right...to know?"

Trixie pursed her lips. Should she tell him? One look at the determined expression on his face and she knew she had to. "I can tell you; if you really want to know."

"I do...I want to know everything... What I'm up against," he said.

"Okay. Well, your right arm is broken, which you already know." He slowly nodded. "Your chest was crushed when it got pressed against the steering wheel."

He again nodded. "That must be why it hurts so much...when I breathe."

"You've got that morphine button, you should use it."

He shook his head. "No...I can handle it. The morphine is making me feel...weird...So what else happened to me...?"

"Your right leg was nearly severed above the knee, but the doctors managed to save it. There are also bad burns on it; they're going to do some skin grafts when you're stronger."

He attempted a chuckle but it fell short. "Funny...My leg's about the only thing that doesn't hurt."

She smiled and squeezed his good hand. "Do you want to know anything else?"

"Everything... all my injuries," he said. "I want...to know just how bad off...I am..."

"Okay... They had to remove your spleen because it ruptured. Your right kidney was also injured; they're hoping it will heal well enough that they won't have to remove it. Then there's your face. You kind of slumped down in the seat when you crashed. Your visor shattered and your face smashed into the top part of the steering wheel. Your nose is broken, also your eye sockets. You've got a couple of nasty cuts on your face that they stitched up, too."

"Dear God…" he said as he took his hand from Trixie's and felt the bandage on his nose and the puffiness around it. "I must look like a monster...

"You look a lot better than when you first got here."

"My nose is all stuffy and my vision is kinda blurry... "

"They took the packing out of your nose, but I guess it would still feel like that. What did you mean by your vision being blurry?" she asked with a hollow feeling in her stomach. The doctor said he might have impaired vision.

"I dunno my eyes just don't feel right... I..." He shook his head unable to explain what he meant. "I just can't see things so...clearly sometimes...Once in a while I get double vision..."

She didn't want him to know how worried she was so she said, "I'm sure that as you heal your vision will improve. If not, glasses aren't that big a deal."

"Glasses..." He tried to picture himself in glasses and shrugged. "I guess after all this other stuff...I could handle it."

"You probably won't even need them. Your eye sockets still have to heal."

"True..." He closed his eyes feeling overwhelmed. "With all these injuries I'm surprised I'm even...alive..."

Trixie smiled. "You're a tough guy, Speed, a fighter. I think you amazed Dr. Cardiovas because he thought for sure you weren't going to make it."

He shrugged again. "I couldn't die...not without telling you how I felt. I think maybe...you are what kept me going. When I first woke up and saw you...that made me... want to live even more." His eyes glistened. "I love you Trixie... I love you so much...There were so many times I wanted to tell you that...But... I was scared...I guess I was afraid... that it wouldn't seem very manly if I told you...my feelings..." He shook his head. "Damn...was I a jerk or what?"

"Yes, you were a jerk." She smiled mischievously. "But I won't hold it against you if you make it up to me."

"When I get out of here...I'll make it up in ways you can't even imagine..." There was a gleam in his eye and for a moment he looked like he did before the crash.

"Hmmm..." she said softly, "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me, too...Though I think... I'm gonna be here a long time..." He again closed his eyes as he thought of one more casualty of the crash. "The Mach 5...it must be wrecked."

 _"He doesn't remember the crash,"_ Trixie thought. _"Does he remember anything else about that day?"_

"I wrecked the Mach 5...Pops must hate me so much...I don't blame him..."

Trixie's heart broke for him. "Speed, the Mach 5 is fine. You weren't driving it in the race; you were driving the Blue Comet."

"Oh no..." He squeezed his eyes shut trying desperately to keep from completely falling apart. "Pops and Sparky's dream car...They both must hate me...Why didn't I die that day?"

"Gregory Racer don't you ever talk that way!" Trixie admonished him.

He sighed. "Sorry...I can't help it...I don't deserve to live after...ruining the Comet..."

Trixie attempted to comfort him. "Shhh...It's okay. Pops and Sparky don't hate you; they love you and don't give a damn about the Comet. Speed, the car can be rebuilt, but you could never be replaced. Please stop beating yourself up over something that was beyond your control."

"Beyond my control?" His voice was bitter. "I was the one driving...the car when it got wrecked...so it must be something I did... to cause it."

"No, there was something wrong with the Comet. You said..." her voice cracked as she remembered the incident, "right before you crashed that the brakes felt funny. I guess they gave out and that's why you hit the wall."

"Oh..."

"Pops said they're investigating the crash. In fact, he said that he and Sparky have to meet with the investigators this afternoon to see what they've found so far. But no matter what they find, all anybody cares about is that you're alive and you're going to get well. Everyone loves you, Speed. Especially me, more than words can say."

"And I love you... so much..." He reached his left hand up and tenderly stroked her cheek. "I wish I could...hold you in my arms..."

"Me, too." She gazed down at him and an idea came to her. "Maybe you can do that." She moved her chair so that she was next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Can you get your left arm around me?"

"Yeah...I think I can..." Making sure not to disturb the IV, he cautiously placed his arm around her. "You don't know how good I feel right now..."

"I think I do," she said in a soft voice.

He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, relishing her closeness. In spite of the pain he felt wonderful. "You are my reason...for living..." he murmured.

Trixie ran her fingers through his hair; enjoying how it felt to be in his arms. "I love you so much, Speed. I still can't believe how close I came to losing you."

"I'll never leave you, Trixie...I promise..." With that he brought his lips full on hers and put every last bit of his strength into a long, passionate kiss. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillow, exhausted but happy. "You are so beautiful...and I love you..." he whispered as he fell into a deep, contented sleep.

She carefully pulled away from him and noticed that the morphine button hung over the side of the bed. "I think I'll leave it there. He can pull it up himself if he needs to use it." One more time she kissed him before rising. As she turned towards the door she was startled to look up and see Nurses Julie and Karen standing in the doorway grinning.

"Well, it looks like Speed really is starting to feel better," Julie observed.

"Sure does," Karen agreed. "When I saw his heart monitor going crazy at the nurse's station I was worried! Nice to see that he was being a typical guy."

"Men!" Julie exclaimed. "No matter how sick they are they always seem to have enough strength for some nookie!"

Both nurses burst out laughing while Trixie's face reddened from embarrassment. "We were only kissing, I swear!" she said; wishing she could crawl into a hole and die.

Julie placed her hand on her shoulder. "It's all right honey; we're just teasing you."

Trixie slowly nodded. "I know. I guess maybe I'm feeling a little guilty because he really needs his rest and I shouldn't have encouraged him."

"I don't think you did any harm," Julie said. "If anything I think it might have helped him. Look at that smile on his face!"

Trixie noticed that there was indeed a smile on Speed's face. "I guess maybe it was a good thing. I know I'm very happy."

"I'm happy for the both of you, sweetie. Just try to take things a little slower," Julie said.

Trixie nodded. "Sure. Uh...Have you seen Speed's parents? I thought for sure they'd be here by now."

Karen said, "They're meeting with Speed's physicians; getting an update on his condition."

"I guess they're also discussing the feeding tube that Dr. Cardiovas wants to give Speed. I wish he would eat so that they wouldn't have to do that. I've tried everything and he just plain refuses to eat a thing."

"It's hard to eat when you don't have an appetite. Being on morphine doesn't make it any easier," Julie said.

"He hasn't been using it. He said it makes him feel weird, whatever that means," Trixie explained.

Karen nodded. "It does have some rather nasty side effects; one of them being severe nausea." She eyed the slumbering young man. "Why don't we go out in the hall so we don't disrupt his sleep? I really do have to get back to the station anyway."

"I'm going to stay here a bit longer. I don't want to leave him just yet," Trixie said.

"Sure," Karen said. "Stay a while longer; I won't hold you to the fifteen minute visit limit since Speed's now in his own cubicle. Just remember to give yourself a break once in a while, okay?"

Trixie smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'm just going to stay a few more minutes then go down to the cafeteria for some coffee."

\---

Mom and Pops left the meeting with Speed's doctors not sure how they should feel. "I can't believe how many physicians are involved with his case," Mom said. "I don't think I'll ever remember all their names."

"I don't care what their names are," Pops commented. "All I care about is that they're taking excellent care of our son. We couldn't ask for better care. Each and everyone of them took their time with us; explained things in layman's terms so we'd understand. That vascular surgeon, Dr. Whazzisname...what he said about Speed's chances of walking again, he was honest about it. Less than fifty percent odds that he'll have full use of his leg. Doesn't sound good."

"No, those odds aren't good," Mom agreed. "But if I know Speed, dear, he'll buck those odds,"

"And he'll push himself to the limit, even if it takes years."

They arrived at Speed's room just as Sparky was leaving. "Hi folks," he said.

"Good afternoon, Sparky," Mom said. "How's he doing?"

"About the same. Although, he's upset about the crash and wrecking the Blue Comet."

"He what?" Pops asked. "Who told him about what the crash?"

"He didn't say. He was bound to find out sooner or later and I think he does have the right to know what happened."

The Racer patriarch sighed. "Still, I was hoping to wait a few more days. His condition is so precarious. The doctors are worried about stress affecting his heart and breathing."

"He didn't seem distressed, Pops," the mechanic explained. "It was more like he was worried about you and me and the fact that we worked so long and hard on the car. He blames himself for the crash. I told him it was nonsense, but you know how he is. He said that when he's well enough, he wants to see a video tape of the wreck."

"My poor baby..." Mom said; anguish in her voice as she turned to her husband. "You've got to let him know that you're not upset with him."

"I sure will," Pops said.

They held hands as they entered the room. Speed's eyes were closed and it looked as if he was asleep. "I think he's napping," Mom said.

"No, I'm not..." He opened his eyes; they were red-rimmed and glassy. There were tears in the corners as if he'd been crying. "Pops...I'm so sorry..."

"Sorry for what?" Pops asked.

"Sorry 'bout...the Blue Comet...I ruined your dream car..."

Pops pulled a chair up closer to his bed. "No, you didn't. We can rebuild the car and make it even better. But if something happened to you our lives would never be the same." He stroked Speed's hair. "I know I'm not the type to say mushy stuff, Speed, but I love you and when I thought we were going to lose you, I felt my world fall apart."

"Really, Pops?"

His father smiled. "Really. Now, you just concentrate on getting well and Sparky and I will concentrate on rebuilding the Blue Comet."

Speed returned the smile. "Okay and when...you get her rebuilt...and I'm feeling better…I'm gonna drive...her again...in a race...this time...I'm gonna win..." He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

"I shouldn't even be surprised about what he just said," Pops remarked. "I wouldn't put it past him to do just that."

Mom shook her head. "He'll drive that car again over my dead body!"

 


End file.
